Allow me to introduce myself....to myself

Hi my blog lovelies. It has been well over a little while since i've posted here [i know i know, shame on it all] BUT if you are fans of my writing, you can always check me out over at The Rainbow Room Things are lil bit edgier/racier/gayer over there so...you've been warned :-) Anywho, I've had something on my mind lately that's more fitting to post here, so here I am.

When I was younger (teens) my parents use to tell me how horrible the 20's were for them, and that I shouldn't be in such a rush to be 21 because the 20's were all about instability, hustlin and trying to find your place in the world. Psssh. I wasn't tryin to hear all that. I wanted to be grown and do wut the hell i wanted to do. 21 = nothin but freedom, gambling, drank and clubs to me. lol. [hot ass mess, i know] So i let all of that nonsense from my parents go in one ear and straight out the other.

I'm now about to be 27 and i see precisely what they were trying to warn me about. 20s are no joke. I feel like i've been forced into a blender and someone has cranked it all the way up to shredabish, and im strugglin to come out partially alive. Smh. My parents raised me well, and I have always had a good head on my shoulders....for the most part. I had a yr back in 2004 where I straight up lost half my mind, but ehhh *shrug*, the thrill faded. So now i'm really trying to carve out my little niche and see how I can make life work for me, and it's HARD. I'm craving stability right now, and I can't seem to begin to find it. School is great but im so ready to be done and start my career, write my books, be in a happy/passionate/fulfilling relationship, have babies, travel. You know...LIVE. It sings to be taking more than my share of blood sweat and tears to get there and I've been really discouraged lately. I've just been going through struggle after struggle with personal things, and sometimes i'm afraid nothing will ever settle and just be peaceful for me. Smh. I feel like i'm evolving and growing in so many ways, but now i'm struggling to become one with myself, and truly become grounded in what I want for myself. It's crazy.

I know good things come to those who wait, patience is a virtue, and much is given to those who work hard and endure. I just wish i could talk myself into seeing the rainbow past all of the clouds hovering over me right now. *sigh*

Okay, okay. Lord, this post is depressing. lol! I'll think of a lighter topic to update you all on later. Thanks for reading! *MuAh*

Happy Monday!!! & all that jazz =-)

Good morning! Wow when's the last time i blogged at 8 sumthin in the morning on a Monday and was HAPPY about it? Um..try not neva! Ohh but what a difference a vacay makes in a person's life. I haven't done anything in the form of work or school over the past week and it makes me SMILE. I really needed this time off. My schedule is always packed tight as hell so for me to just be...i'm lovin it. Unfortunately it all comes to a screeching halt as of this Wednesday. School starts back and I'll be up and out bright n early. I'm excited about it though so I won't complain!

What else, what else??

OH! I have a Hair Tales post to do sometime today hopefully as soon as I take pics of my hair. Other than that, i've been havin such a chil week, I dont have much more to run my mouth about! *gasp!*

Ehh. I'm sure all will be back to normal soon and i'll have lots of random chaos to dish out. Until then love bunnies!!!

HAPPY MONDAY! -Bday Recap

Goodmorning love bunnies! [he he] So it's Monday & i'm all smiles *gasp!* T'was a BEAUTIFUL birthday weekend thanks to tloml & she has put a smile on my face strong enough to face an entire monday!! Love you baby =-) (Oh and thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bday)



Let me give u the rundown of what we did:


Friday- we laid around the house up under eachother for most of the day, which is always lovely. Went out to dinner at a great chinese bistro (chow mein, fried rice, orange chicken & garlic shrimp if u must kno) and then hit up some cosmic bowling until 130 in the morning. LOVED it!

Saturday- She surprised me with tickets to the musical Beach Blanket Babylon in San Fran. I've been wanting to go since forever now & it was absolutely hillarious. Im serious, if you're ever in the city, u gotta check it out. I can't even begin to describe what the show is about cuz its about so much. lol. It's an over the top variety cabaret show and they cover everything in the current news & its just funny as all hell. Elaborate costumes, catchy songs, great voices, risque humor, dancing, i loved it. And we'll be going again.

After the show we went out to dinner at this little Italian restaurant. My food was okay (the bread & wine was delish but the spaghetti was ehh. Im jus use to it the way I cook it! Sue me.) but she fell in love with her dish so it was cool. I love little Italy at sunset, absolutely beautiful. San Fran is a gorgeous city all the way around tho. Jus does something to my spirits when i'm there.

View as we were crossing the street. My gf said I looked like a tourist. lol.

Sunday- Took an impromptu drive up to Stockton cuz we were both feenin for some food from Sonic. lol. Came back home and spent some time with a friend at her family's house cuz they have HBO and we had to watch True Blood. Went home, watched The Secret Life of Bees and then crashed. I was exhausted!! It was a great weekend. Oh wait, my cake!! Omg she bought me the best cake ever. It's from Coldstone Creamery. Doesn't it look heavenly? It was. There's like a slice & a half left and im gonna tear that shit up when i get home!!;)

So yeah, i had a wonderful b-day and i'm looking forward to another year in my skin.

7/12/09

Monday quickie

Im leavin work early cuz I wanna go home to take care of my sick gf. Not much to talk about. Pride weekend was fun, a little disappointing saturday nite due to my own poor drinking judgment (lol), but sunday was cool. Um...tomorrow is payday yayyyyyyy! Lord knows this couldnt come any sooner cuz i'm beyond broke. So yeah, that's about it.

Oh i've got lots of shit to talk today

It's Monday [can i get a collective chorus of boos?] but i'm determined to be thankful for seeing yet another week.

My weekend was chill. Pretty much just laid around with the tloml (the love of my lyfe), went to the movies to see The Taking of Pelham 123. It was pretty damn good. I didn't expect any less from Denzel & John. Mr. Travolta made one hell of a bad guy. I liked it! I babysat my lil man Elijah for a few hrs & watched hours of mind-numbing tv. Which brings me to the next part of my post.

Is anyone else watching this show? I never even heard of it (i have sucky ass showtime) until my co-worker came in one day a few months ago ranting and raving about one of the episodes. I was like wtf is true blood? As soon as she told me it was a freaky vampire series on HBO my interest was most definitely peaked. I just watched the first 7 episodes over the weekend and um... Twilight it ain't. Twilight didn't deserve half of its hype in my book because any vampire movie/series that contains absolutely no blood sucks ass. But I guess i can understand why teenyboppers would love the pubescent movie. But these grown ass women runnin around in love with Edward and swooning over all things Twilight need to be punched in the left eye.

But True Blood is shaping up to be quite the entertaining series. And its for ADULTS which means there's blood and lots of sex. Started off a little slow. The first 2 eps left my gf and I like ummmm okay. But the deeper into it we're getting, the better it's becoming. I wont talk too much about it here cuz I dnt wanna spoil it for anyone. I just wanna know if any of you guys are watching it??

Wut else is on my mind? Oh yeah. These fools rite here.

Who didn't see this divorce coming? I coulda told him this was gonna be a hot ass mess the night of his honeymoon. I'll never understand why anyone would choose to participate in career suicide for the dumbest of reasons. Now dont get me wrong. Love is never the wrong reason for a life change. But obviously this wasn't true love. This was ooops i done went and knocked this bitch up and her family is from east oakland and i'm not about to come up missing so I guess i'll make an honest women outta her. Pffft. See how far that got him? Such a retard. And then he had the nerve to bash his fans for tryin to tell him the damn truth!? Whatever Ush. Hopefully your next album wont be good for only resting my liquor glasses on. Oh wait. I didn't buy it. Guess it's not even good enough for that....

And last but not least

I caught a serious attitude when this chick came out a yr or so ago and all I heard were Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie comparisons. I was like hell to the no. Dark hair, light eyes and semi-big lips does not automatically put you on Ms. Jolie's level. Sorry. So I immediately blocked that nonsense out of my peripheral. But after seeing some of the latest pictures of Megan, imma have to go ahead and re-evaluate her case. Now I still dont think she tops Angie. Hell Angie isn't even toppin herself these days. But um, Megan is steppin up her sexy. Give her a few more yrs and some acting classes and i mite have to throw her on my wcwcgi list. [white chicks who can get it]

Yall wont believe this

But i got an A in my astro class. lmfao. I dont even know how to act rite now. I truly feel like its all a cruel joke and tomorrow i'll go check again and the A will be gone. Because i cant understand how this could've possibly happened. But i'll take it!!! (and hope no one notices the drastic mistake)

My weekend was um...interesting. I never did quite bowl that 3 digit # I was striving for. lol. I suck so bad at it, but my game showed a slight improvement after my 2nd long island and a rum & coke :-) Im laying off the alcohol until pride. I think i can make it for 3 weeks sober. I had a lil mini meltdown friday nite because of some stuff im triping off of. Wasnt good. But I think i'm on top of it now, or at least trying. Sometimes it takes a melt down to completely cleanse yourself of everything thats heavy in your spirit, ya kno?

I woke up and prayed this morning. Haven't done that in far too long. I needed the reassurance and security that comes along with my talks with God. And I needed today to be a positive day. So far so good.

Oh and it's Monday but I'm actually in a good mood! The power of prayer, im tellin you...

I'm in a writing mood today. I think i'll pull up my book that i've invested 40sumthin pgs into and kinda pushed it away due to a severe case of writer's block. I really need to buy a laptop. Thinkin about getting a netbook actually, for those times when im out & about and i have random ideas. No writer should be without one in my opinion, and im a writer & i'm without one. Gotta change that. Money is just so funny these days (tryin to save for a car, gotta buy bks for this fall, need a summer wrdrobe,about to be reduced to part time, etc)...sigh. We'll see.

iPanic like crazy oh and its monday :-(

Ok so I hate making mistakes. Especially really stupid mistakes that if I would have taken three extra seconds to double check and ensure that I was doing something properly, I wouldn't have made the stupid ass mistake. Today I found out that I made a mistake last week by emailing my english teacher the wrong version of an essay that was due. My essay that I spent hours stressing over was about 4 pages long. Whatever the hell I sent to her was only 1 pg long and cut off mid way through a paragraph. wtf? So I get to work and check an email from my teacher who was like ummm...am i missing something here? So i double check what I sent her and sure enough, I sent the wrong thing.

Panic

I had my gf get on our computer at hm to search for the real version of my essay and its nowhere to be found. WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

I know there's no way i exited from that document without saving it. No way. Im not that slow. So as of now, I only got 50 out of 100 pts for that retarded ass essay that i stayed up until all hours of the morning to work on. Im too pissed off right now And it's monday which doesnt help anything AND it's finals week.

I need a drink.

Oh and Angels & Demons was good, not great. I liked the Davinci Code better. X Men Origins:Wolverine was really good. My scholarship banquet was very nice. We did end up going to the club saturday night but it sucked...big surprise there. We're saving Butta for next month during pride, hoping it will be worth it. Wish I could flesh this post out a little bit more but im still too pissed off to write so i'm going to put myself in a corner for a minute until I can come back without my attitude. Don't hold ya breath waiting for me...

A few matters of concern

It's monday and y'all dont even need a warning. Stay tuned for the trickery.

*1st things 1st, I had a nice wkend. The concert went great. We sang rather well from what I was told. I got to meet, chit chat and take pics with Kenny Latimore. (Y'all remember him right?) That man knows he can sing his ass off. Of course he sang his infamous "For You". Video soon to come! Did nothing on Sunday besides wash my hair and ran a few errands. Got a lil sidetracked at the mexican grcery store because...well its a mexican grocery store and my Spanish is dustier than what I wanted to admit. I was like ummmm YO NO SE. But I got it together eventually & left out with my tortillas, pollo de rostizado, y queso :-)

* Now onto to a few other things.

Am I the only grown person besides my GF who watches MTVs Taking the Stage?

I love this freakin show. I love the fact that these kids are working so hard to pursue their dreams of dancing or singing profesionally. (Hell i just figured out what i wanna do with life...kinda) Its set at Nick Lachey's (u know the 90 degrees guy) creative & performing arts highschool in Cincinnati, and it showcases the above 5 students who are all super talented in their own ways.From left to right, Shaakira, Malik, Jasmine, Tyler & Mia. I think all 5 of them are great performers, and Mia is one singin ass white girl who is gonna blow up real soon. Love her voice. So yeah, i'm into this lil show but I have one problem:

Someone needs to tell a few of these kids that shit really need not be so complicated in high school! Yeah, people break up and make up, hook up, lie, cheat steal and everything else in HS but u just deal with it and move the hell on. You're only 18 if that! Trust u have the rest of your life to stress over the bullshit and drama. Jasmine & Tyler lawd hammercy. They're caught up in this overly emotional, awkward "relationship" that has lasted ohhh about 3 months. Tyler went and kissed Mia at some party and Jasmine's life ended. Like literally she hit a brick wall and crumbled. Now this chick wants to be "the first premier ballerina of my generation" (her words) and she's really really good. But then here came slick ass Tyler poppin and lockin all over the place & snatched all her lil focus right on up. She flubbed her Julliard audition cuz her mind was too sidetracked by Tyler's sudden case of Jungle Fever. Come on now. I know I thought I was grown in high school too but i'll be damned if a relationship stopped me from getting into my college of choice! Hell to the no. Good bye Tyler, you cute and all but hun u gots ta go. And Mia...

Now I liked Mia...at first. She had a mature air about her that gave her that sophisticated artsy vibe, & i told u she can really sing. Kinda like Joss Stone met Norah Jones who turned around and had a baby with Adele. She was cool. But then she let Tyler fuck up her lil world too! WTF? They treatin this boy like he's Chris Brown! Ok kinda harsh. Scratch that. Like he's Usher or sumthin! So now Mia done went and bumped her head on Tyler's nuts (lol) and now she got Jasmine hatin her, Tyler confused as all hell as to who he wants to be with, and all she sayin is that "I didnt really know what I was doin cuz my boyfriend just broke up with me and im so confused and hurt and you know the whole rebound thing..."

Girl boo. You're 17!!!! You better rebound that damn guitar and keep singin so u can get a record contract and get your ass outta Cincinnati! Got no damn time for Tylers fuckery. Get on somewhere. These young girls these days! geez.

Okay movin right along from MTV to BET.

Sundays Best! Love this show too & if any of u are following this contest, you already know the names (From top to bottom)Jessica Reedy, Latice Crawford and Y'anna Crawley. They were the 3 remaining contestants this past Sunday. Now its down to Jessica and Y'anna. Im tellin u, these 3 women are BAD. Latice has that throaty, strong Whitney Houstonesque (before the crack) voice, Y'anna is one of those take you to church, sang u under the pew & then put yo a** to sleep voices, & Jessica...whew lawd. I am so into her vocals. Shes got this craazy range that digs deep inside to the pit of her soul, and such immaculate control....its bananas. This season's competition is fierce and I couldnt be paid enough to have eliminated either of these women. Now that its down to the final 2 tho, imma have to roll with Jessica. I could listen to her all day & nite. Her voice is so sultry and flawlessly silky smooth. I really want her and Latice both to come out to the bay and play Yoshi's. (a jazz club in oakland for those of yall who arent in the know) I would be there front & center, sippin on my two drink minimum purchase. lol. Seriously tho, all 3 of these ladies make me wanna do better. I can sing but mannn i need to work on a few things so i can step my game up. They have really inspired me.

*steppin to the mic* mi mi mi mi miiii

Yeah imma work on that :-)