So there's this 3 story house in Berkeley...

Not too far from Ashby Bart...with a ridiculously overgrown jungle backyard, a gaping hole in the ceiling of the bottom level, two broken bathrooms, walls that need to be painted, the steepest flight of stairs in the nation with NO banister (try climbing them after 10 tequila shots), a kitchen that needs serious remodeling, a living room that doubles as a storage unit, and an attic that's part art studio, part intentional bedroom, part UNintentional bedroom, part common area.

And in this house are 7 (and one on the way) of the most amazing, flexible, talented, artistic, driven, intelligent, socially conscious young people with enough focus, tenacity and PATIENCE to turn such a catastrophe into the experience of a lifetime. Once all of the work that has been taking place over the last few weeks is said and done, it's gonna be an absolutely amazing, creative space. I'm so ready :-)

"I'm not where I imagined myself to be right now, but while i'm forced to detour...I might as well enjoy the scenery" -Chanel

UPDATE:
11/9/2010

The above mentioned house (the shark pit), is now newly painted (downstairs at least), full coverage ceilings & walls, three beautifully functioning bathrooms, 2 fully stocked kitchens and a backyard that has been lovingly tended & provides the most amazing fruits & veggies.

;-) me=happy

Shark!!

Recognizing growth in myself

It's almost 2 am in the morning and i'm sitting here on a laptop I borrowed from school, wondering why the hell i'm not sleep. *sigh*

I have so much on my mind I kinda feel stuck right now. Like' I can't lay down and get comfortable enough to fall asleep, but staying awake is making me think and think and think and think some more. My mind is racing at 393877579349 mph. Smh.

I do, however, notice a change in my thought process. A little while ago, I probably would've beeen drowned in tears of sorrow and despair...and anger. But tonight I'm just analyzing things and realizing how much control I have tried to exert over EVERYTHING and how I have been hurting myself and the person I love the most by doing so. Learning how to let go and let happen what's meant to happen is a terribly hard thing to do, but once you do it, it's a great feeling of release. It's still nerve-wrecking at times, but it feels good to just breathe and know that I do not have to try to fix and control every single thing. I can sit back and see what life has to offer me and try to enjoy and/or learn from the process along the way. I still have hope for certain things that I would love to happen. But if those certain things dont work out...I know I will still be able to walk away a better woman than who I was some years ago and that makes me genuinely happy.

Allow me to introduce myself....to myself

Hi my blog lovelies. It has been well over a little while since i've posted here [i know i know, shame on it all] BUT if you are fans of my writing, you can always check me out over at The Rainbow Room Things are lil bit edgier/racier/gayer over there so...you've been warned :-) Anywho, I've had something on my mind lately that's more fitting to post here, so here I am.

When I was younger (teens) my parents use to tell me how horrible the 20's were for them, and that I shouldn't be in such a rush to be 21 because the 20's were all about instability, hustlin and trying to find your place in the world. Psssh. I wasn't tryin to hear all that. I wanted to be grown and do wut the hell i wanted to do. 21 = nothin but freedom, gambling, drank and clubs to me. lol. [hot ass mess, i know] So i let all of that nonsense from my parents go in one ear and straight out the other.

I'm now about to be 27 and i see precisely what they were trying to warn me about. 20s are no joke. I feel like i've been forced into a blender and someone has cranked it all the way up to shredabish, and im strugglin to come out partially alive. Smh. My parents raised me well, and I have always had a good head on my shoulders....for the most part. I had a yr back in 2004 where I straight up lost half my mind, but ehhh *shrug*, the thrill faded. So now i'm really trying to carve out my little niche and see how I can make life work for me, and it's HARD. I'm craving stability right now, and I can't seem to begin to find it. School is great but im so ready to be done and start my career, write my books, be in a happy/passionate/fulfilling relationship, have babies, travel. You know...LIVE. It sings to be taking more than my share of blood sweat and tears to get there and I've been really discouraged lately. I've just been going through struggle after struggle with personal things, and sometimes i'm afraid nothing will ever settle and just be peaceful for me. Smh. I feel like i'm evolving and growing in so many ways, but now i'm struggling to become one with myself, and truly become grounded in what I want for myself. It's crazy.

I know good things come to those who wait, patience is a virtue, and much is given to those who work hard and endure. I just wish i could talk myself into seeing the rainbow past all of the clouds hovering over me right now. *sigh*

Okay, okay. Lord, this post is depressing. lol! I'll think of a lighter topic to update you all on later. Thanks for reading! *MuAh*

Im surprised I still have any followers!

*lookin around the place*

Everything still looks the same around here...but it feels different. smh. It has been wayyy too long since I've blogged.I feel like the days when i was blogging almost every day were so long ago. I miss it! *tears in eyes* CURSE my desire to be a college graduate! smh.

Y'all...i'm tellin you. I'm not complaining. But this shit rite here...Mills college?? Is no fuckin joke. School has never been hard for me. [except anything dealing with math.] And the actual work is not the problem, it's the amount! I feel like a slave!!! I know one ought not say that because our slave ancestors wouldn't appreciate it very much, but shit. That's how i feel and i'm stickin to it. Nite after nite of stayin up til 3 to finish a paper is not the bizness. I barely have enough time to wash my ass let alone BLOG about it! smh. So yeah. I have to say thank you to those who still do random blog-bys to check and see if i've posted anything. Im sorry for slackin and i'll try to do better but um.... please don't hold your breath on that.

What else, what else?

Oh i'm looking for a car. I have worn out my welcome on the bus / bart train and Icantdoitnomo. I need a car. asap. SO i have my little $ together and im ready to buy! I will mos definitely post pics and announce the name of the addition to our family as soon as i buy her =-)

I joined crackberry nation today. I got a Blackberry Curve. Im still feelin it out and I think im going through Sidekick withdrawals but i'm sure i'll get use to the bb eventually. It is a powerful lil thing. Does every damn thing under the sun [would be nice if it would so some of my HOMEWORK] so i can see why people are addicted to them. But there's just something about my sidekick slide...memories. *sigh* If i could combine the sidekick keyboard and interface with all of the BB apps and functionality...i'd have a G1 google phone!! Lol. And that's what i'm aspiring to buy in a few months. Ahh i'm never satisfied. *shrugs*

Ohhh i also got a new Ipod. The Ipod Touch and i ADORE it. Do you see a pattern of spending $$$ here?? lol. But yeah, I'm truly addicted to that thing. Love it. I think everyone should get one. If i could twinkle my nose and have one magically appear in your hands you would have as much joy as i do rite now.

Ummm...is there anything else? I think i'm fairly caught up. How r u guys doing?? Damn I really miss being on here :-( I gotta hurry up and get that laptop....