Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lil bit of this...lil bit of that

Heyyyy everyone ;-) So here it is, the end of 2009. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Whew chile... this year has been....geez... I dont even think I can properly express in words what kind of year it has been for me. I've gone through so much this year I truly wouldn't mind slippin on a sheet of ice, bumpin my head and conveniently suffering from insomnia ranging between January 09 and now. There were a few moments in there that I will always hold close to my heart...always. But for the most part, 2009 has not served me very well and I'm truly beyond ready for it to exit stage left. I don't want to sound totally rude and ungrateful, because I know many many people didn't even live to see this year. For my life I am thankful. I lived another year and became that much more wiser to my own ways and to the ways of the world I live in. I have acknowledged so much in my own self over the past 12 months, I truly learned who I am, who I want to be and how I will get there. I have made mistakes. Learned from them and now I work to move on. Through all of my tears and uphill battles, I made it to the end and I am ready to exhale, leave the past where it's divinely destined to be and step forward into the NEW year. 2010 can only be better. I will keep my heart and my mind focused on that. I'm not making any New Yrs resolutions. I just plan on living my life in a way that will make me proud and happy and I hope to reacquaint myself with lots of smiles and good times. Everyone be safe on New Yrs eve, party like you have nothing else in the world you could possibly be doing and claim your peace and happiness in 2010.

Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

and i'd like to leave you with O Holy Night by Jennifer Hudson. It's such a beautiful song and she sang it with everything inside of her. Enjoy =-)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Michael Jackson- This Is my own words

I went with TLOML to see This Is It in Imax last night. Now Imax is not cheap. But I knew i needed to experience that film in the best visually captivating and top rate sound technology available. I was a little perturbed that the Metreon IMAX in San Francisco wasn't showing it, and i'll forgive them for it one day in the not so near future. But Bay St. was pretty good. It wasn't about the theater anyway. It was about MICHAEL JACKSON.

Anyone who read my post on June 25th knows how bad MJ's death shook me. I mean it literally broke me for a few days. Couldn't stop crying every time I thought about it. I've been playing his music constantly on my ipod and I cannot get enough. I've been submerged in Michael, and I never quite grasped the concept of him being gone. Until last night...

I sat in that theater knowing I was going to bawl like a baby as soon as MJ came on screen. Oddly enough, I didn't. I watched him. Scrutinized every move he made. Analyzed every note he hit. Waiting to see any hint of this frail, sickly, older man that many claimed him to be in his last days. I watched for any UN-Michael mistakes. Stuff that he just does not do. A flawed pop lock. An off key note. I found absolutely nothing. That man was not sick. He was rehearsing for what would have been the best tour ever performed on this earth. Even during the moments where you caould see he was vocally and physically holding back as to not exert his energy...he was still better than ANY youngin on the music scene today. No wonder why they all wanna be like Mike...

Michael Jackson awed me last night. He always had that power. Something about the way his spirit and heart electrifies a camera has always boggled my mind. Even when he is not performing, i'm captivated. But when he IS performing...the angels stand still. Last night, I finally realized that we no longer have this musical legend living among us. He is no longer tucked quietly away in his studio, plotting the biggest comeback since, well...his last one. He isn't smiling into any more cameras with his big bashful eyes. The music world has lost it's single most influential pulse that has given us the best pop music imaginable. And I am finally okay with that. I saw Michael in his element last night. On that stage, among people who respect and love him for being the genius man that he was, i saw him fulfilled. He came full circle, out of the horrid treatment from the press that he has gotten in his past. He rose above the child molestation charges that I 100% believe were full of shit from jump. (Did u know the first boy to accuse him of it in '93 came forward AFTER Michael's death to admit that him and his father were lying about it all?) Michael stepped into his deserving spotlight while rehearsing for This Is It and I think he died feeling invigorated, appreciated and motivated. And that is a good way to go.

Now yes, he had some problems. Drug dependency and relying on shady people in your life are signs of trouble. And perhaps if he had more positive energy around him, he would still be alive today. But I can't harp on that or I'll be out for blood (yes i would hem that Dr. up in a second if I had the chance) But I know that Michael is in Heaven right now, finally at peace with everything that has ever tormented him, and I know it's a good feeling.

Thank you, Michael, for sharing your final remarkable moments with your fans. We felt your presence throughout the film and we love you for it. You are still the best there ever was and ever will be.

At the end of the film, I cried. I let my tears flow, not out of hurt or sorrow. But because an era of musical perfection has come to an end, and my future children will never experience him LIVE. Ohh but that's okay, cuz they will know who Michael Jackson is, was and will forever be- The King of Pop.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Just something I needed to read

I borrowed these lyrics from one of my new favorite blogs, My Affinity. I wont comment on the situation right now because...well I really can't. Im struggling to keep it all together and Joss Stone always seems to get it right...

♫ I'll be alright and I'm gonna love again. My wounds will mend...I'm bruised but not broken.... and the pain will fade, I'll get back on my feet. It's not the end of heart is still open...bruised but not broken...♫ -Joss Stone-

Friday, September 25, 2009

Im surprised I still have any followers!

*lookin around the place*

Everything still looks the same around here...but it feels different. smh. It has been wayyy too long since I've blogged.I feel like the days when i was blogging almost every day were so long ago. I miss it! *tears in eyes* CURSE my desire to be a college graduate! smh.

Y'all...i'm tellin you. I'm not complaining. But this shit rite here...Mills college?? Is no fuckin joke. School has never been hard for me. [except anything dealing with math.] And the actual work is not the problem, it's the amount! I feel like a slave!!! I know one ought not say that because our slave ancestors wouldn't appreciate it very much, but shit. That's how i feel and i'm stickin to it. Nite after nite of stayin up til 3 to finish a paper is not the bizness. I barely have enough time to wash my ass let alone BLOG about it! smh. So yeah. I have to say thank you to those who still do random blog-bys to check and see if i've posted anything. Im sorry for slackin and i'll try to do better but um.... please don't hold your breath on that.

What else, what else?

Oh i'm looking for a car. I have worn out my welcome on the bus / bart train and Icantdoitnomo. I need a car. asap. SO i have my little $ together and im ready to buy! I will mos definitely post pics and announce the name of the addition to our family as soon as i buy her =-)

I joined crackberry nation today. I got a Blackberry Curve. Im still feelin it out and I think im going through Sidekick withdrawals but i'm sure i'll get use to the bb eventually. It is a powerful lil thing. Does every damn thing under the sun [would be nice if it would so some of my HOMEWORK] so i can see why people are addicted to them. But there's just something about my sidekick slide...memories. *sigh* If i could combine the sidekick keyboard and interface with all of the BB apps and functionality...i'd have a G1 google phone!! Lol. And that's what i'm aspiring to buy in a few months. Ahh i'm never satisfied. *shrugs*

Ohhh i also got a new Ipod. The Ipod Touch and i ADORE it. Do you see a pattern of spending $$$ here?? lol. But yeah, I'm truly addicted to that thing. Love it. I think everyone should get one. If i could twinkle my nose and have one magically appear in your hands you would have as much joy as i do rite now. there anything else? I think i'm fairly caught up. How r u guys doing?? Damn I really miss being on here :-( I gotta hurry up and get that laptop....

Friday, August 28, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Happy Monday!!! & all that jazz =-)

Good morning! Wow when's the last time i blogged at 8 sumthin in the morning on a Monday and was HAPPY about it? Um..try not neva! Ohh but what a difference a vacay makes in a person's life. I haven't done anything in the form of work or school over the past week and it makes me SMILE. I really needed this time off. My schedule is always packed tight as hell so for me to just be...i'm lovin it. Unfortunately it all comes to a screeching halt as of this Wednesday. School starts back and I'll be up and out bright n early. I'm excited about it though so I won't complain!

What else, what else??

OH! I have a Hair Tales post to do sometime today hopefully as soon as I take pics of my hair. Other than that, i've been havin such a chil week, I dont have much more to run my mouth about! *gasp!*

Ehh. I'm sure all will be back to normal soon and i'll have lots of random chaos to dish out. Until then love bunnies!!!

Friday, August 14, 2009

I'm a blessed woman

Ok so I know i'm not gonna make it through this post without crying because 1, i'm a powder puff cry baby punk and 2, i'm just so unbelievably happy right now!! But I purposely did not wear any make up today cuz I already knew what the deal was.

Anywho, if u don't follow me on Twitter [how dare u!!!? It's] you may not know that today is my last day as a full time employee at my current job. It's a good job. Good $. Decent atmosphere although this past month has made me want to throw a few people off the Golden Gate bridge. [no psycho] I was very blessed to have gotten the position 3 yrs ago with very little experience in the field. And now I feel continuous blessings for making my exit and moving on to bigger & better things. It will be a HUGE adjustment phase for me over the next few months as I have grown accustomed to having a little change in my pockets. But when I have a school like Mills College basically paying my way not gonna pass that up to stay at a 9 to 5 that will never ever pay me the kind of $$$ i know i can make with degrees under my belt.

God has opened all sorts of doors, windows, avenues and freeways for me and i've chosen to run full speed ahead, with his guidance, of course.

I feel so blessed to have this opportunity & even though i'm still a little nervous about things, i'm ready!!!

Monday, August 3, 2009


Looks like Shakira is tryin to tell Bey that she isn't the only chick with curves who can pop her ass, sling her yoni around a dance floor and hip roll. And um...i'd like to say that this woman is HOT. H O T. U hear me?? But i'd rather listen to this song on mute. Video only please =-)
Im jus sayin.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday in a flash!

Whew damn am I being a slacker or what?! I haven't Friday Flashed since July 3rd. lmao! I have good cause though. Work, school & creative ventures have kept my mind hemmed up, so don't hang me, ok? So before I leave work today, I thought I'd Friday Flash for you really quick.

Ready, Set, GO!

* Cosmic Bowling tonite! Woooooooooooo! 11:30-1:30. Good music, great company, liquor and my wack ass bowling skills!! FUN TIMES ahead!

* TLOML has her 1st meeting tomorrow with the lesbian greeting card co. she's gonna be modeling for. I'm such a proud girlfriend =-)

* And then after that above-mentioned mtg, WE are having a date nite! Actually a date day. Movies, dinner, shopping, wutever else we can get ourselves into. And today was payday too...HELL YEAH!!

*Speaking of PAY DAY. Let me not get too excited about it cuz the funds are already spoken for. lol.

*Been watching True Blood like my life depends on it. "im here fa sookie" LOVE that show! Big thanks to Denae's family for keeping me well-fed and caught up with the show, cuz I dont have HBO.

* July is over? Really? *sigh* My favorite month (my bday month) has come and gone like Joe Turner. (google it u illiterate sons of... :) But August will prove to be quite the adventure seeing as how i'll be making that transition to PT employee FT student. *prayers,blessing & good vibes coming my way please!!!!*

*I really wanna relax my hair :( Lord be some soothing salve for my itchy scalp

* Elijah?? Hm?

*lol. TLOML gets the above flash.

*I miss Michael.

*Joe Jackson can kiss my big bubbly caramel ass.

*Janet can too =-) but she can enjoy it.

*Unveiled my online magazine for women of color writers and i must say i'm proud!! Check it out!

* and i am GONE!!!

Enjoy the weekend yall!!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Introducing my new Online Magazine!!!

I'm SO excited to unveil my latest creative project first to my tweeters and now to my favorite bloggers!! (most who also happen to be my favorite tweeters. lol) Anywho, this is the newest addition of the dozens of ideas Ihave floating in my head and i'm patting myself on the back [asi type] for actually seeing this one through to the end!!

Introducing to the blog-world-

Sepia Magazine!- An E-zine for the verbally inclined women of color!

All of my women writers, poets, lyricists, artists of all forms, click on the link above & check it out! Please feel free to spread the word ;-)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Conversations in my head. Round 7. Conference call

* Ring Ring

Solange: Hello?

Me: Hold on Solo. Gimme 2 minutes

*Ring Ring

Cassie: Hello?

Me: Cas, stay rite here real quick. I'll be back.

*Ring Ring

Amber Rose: Ms. Rose speaking

Me: Girl hold on

2 minutes of button pressing and wire crossing later....

Me: Okay, is everyone here?! Amber, Solo, Cassie??

Solo: Um what is going on?

Me: Solo, wait your turn. I called you earlier this year, u should already know what's up. Cassie? You there hunny bunny?

Cassie: Yeah. Who is this. Hey Solange, girl!

Me: Uh uh no, there will be no fraternizing on this conference call. I brought yall here for a reason and it's not to play pretty pretty princess with each other k? Y'all have done enuf of that and that's why you're in this predicament now.

Cassie: I don't understand.

Me: Obviously. And you're the one who started this shit!

Cassie: What shit?

Me: *sighs*

Cassie: Is this about Diddy? Are you one of his hoes? Look, I told y'all to st-..

Me: Girl boo, save your self riiiiight now. I dont hardly want your saber tooth tiger over there. U got that. Don't get it twisted. I have somebody whose bottom lip doesn't spend most of its time mopping the floor, k? So stop it. This isn't about Doody. This is about your scalp.

Cassie: Huh?

Me: Your scalp bitch your scalp!! Whew, chile...i'm sorry. Just had a moment there. It's just that i'm so mad at you for setting this trend ablaze, I dont know how to control myself.

Cassie: Oh, u dont like my hair?

Me: Understatement of the entire history of the universe. I loathe your hairscalp with everything inside of me. My ancestors are turning over in their graves imagining you stepping outside the house lookin like gangrene done ate up half of your head. Cassie why? Girl you have some beyootiful hair. You hear me?! Women pay 500.00 dollars a pack for that thick silky shit! And what did u do? Shave HALF of it off. Now why would you do that? At least commit to the Montel Williams look and do the whole damn head. But noooo. Someone convinced you that only half of your scalp needed ventilation.

Cassie: I just needed a change.

Me: No. Fail. You need a change now. You didnt need a change before. Well, maybe a career change, but that's neither here nor there. Your hair was fine. If u wanted a change, you coulda threw some color in it. Cut it a little. Hell dred lock it. But what you did is unforgiveable cuz now you have other women thinkin it's the thing ta do. I'm done with you for now Cassie. You're on punishment. Amber? You there hun?

Amber: Uh huh. But I only have a few minutes cuz Kanye jus text me. He's on his way.

Me: He can wait. You aint givin up the ass anyway. At least not to him. Anyway, I have a few words for you as well.

Amber: Before you even start, I shaved my head months before anyone even knew who I was.

Me: Now see, I was actually gonna be nice to you. Yes, I know you shaved your head before you were even a glimmer of relevancy. I do believe that's why it looks halfway good on you. You rock it with originality and confidence and the look on your face says you dont really give a good fuck about all the rest of the birds who claim to shave their heads for a righteous cause. You realize it's solely because you're an attention whore and I'm thankful for your non-denial. It's a refreshing breath of fresh air.

Amber: Um, okay. Thanks...i guess.

Me: Mmm hmm. No problem. One thing though. Really Amber, it's time to ditch the college dropout and go back to your girl friend. You're too fly to be straight. K? Thanks.

Solange: Ooo is it my turn now? Goodie!

Me: Is that sarcasm I hear over there Ms. Knowles?

Solange: I AM NOT MY SISTER!!!

Me: What in the bloody hell? Is your last name not Knowles? I didn't say anything about Beyo-uhh the other one.

Solange: Oh. Yeah. Hm. Sorry about that.

Me: Whew chile you need some therapy for that. I'm concerned. Maybe I wont lay into you too hard. I just wanna ask a question. Do you not own a brush?

Solange: Of course I own a brush. Plenty of them.

Me: Has the baby hid them all from you?

Solange: Not funny.

Me: Not trying to be. But hunny that hair is not the bizness. You wanna chop it all off, fine. At least u did the whole head. But why does it have to look like that? It looks like nappy taco meat and corn nuts, Solo.

Solange: See why do we have to submit to the white man's version of beauty and silky fine hair?!

Me: Now wait a minute sista, dont go all Malcolm X on me when just last month you were the sew-in's best friend. I have nothing against natural beauty, but natural does not have to mean uncivilized. U are giving natural a horrid name with that mess on your head. Spray a little rosewater and shea butter oil on it and run a brush through it one good time. That's it. And i'll leave you alone.

Solange: I'll think about it.

Me: Dont think about it, be about it. Ok ladies. It's been fun. Cassie, u can take your ass outta time out now and head straight to the store to purchase some Rogaine and Doo Grow oil. Amber, keep doin you hun and come back to pitch for the ladies team. Solo, i'll pray for u girl. Tell Beyonce I said heyyyyyy!


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My hair!

It's been a minute since i've updated my hair tales. As of today i'm 9 weeks and 5 days post relaxer. My hair is actually doing quite well! The new growth is pretty thick, especially in the middle of my head, but since I stopped putting heat on it and have been strict with following my moisture regimen, it's extremely soft and manageable. *yayyy!* I have only blow dried and flat ironed one time in the past 5 weeks and that was for pride wkend. [ my hair had 2 be hangin & swangin even if it was only for a few hrs before i had my head in the toilet :( ]

Air drying, moisturizing with Wave Nouveau, ORS olive oil lotion & Elasta QP Mango Butter <---New Product!!* and sealing with either my Hot 6 oil or my Doo Grow Mega thick oil...has my hair HAPPY as i dont kno what. I've also been bunning daily to keep my ends healthy.

I'm sooo anxious to relax! I'm holding out until Friday July 31. I'll be eleven weeks post and I think that's about the extent i'll be able to make it this time around. My Nourishair vitamins & my regimen is really making this a great summer of growth! I just hope I can retain most if not all of the length. I feel like im obsessed with looking at every strand of hair that comes out of my head. I have been a little worried with the amount of short pieces of hair i'm seeing on my shirt and around my sink when I comb. It's not a whole lot but the fact that any is breaking off at all bothers and perplexes me. With as much moisture and oils I have in my head, i dont think i should have any breakage at all!! [ grrrrrr ] Im thinking of upping my protein use just a tad. Maybe that will stop it. Another thing that's bothering me is the back of my head is soo freakin sore! My scalp all along the back is tender to the touch and hurts when I comb it. Wtf is that!? Never happened b4 and its scaring the crap outta me. I googled the symptoms and some people said ponytails in the same spot can cause it, lots of new growth can cause soreness (a lil wierd) or an allergic reaction to a product. I dont kno but this has 2 stop or I wont be able to relax my hair next wkend :(

Today's bun!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Really quick question...

What in the bloody hell is this!!!? Neyo?! Is that you? Lawd.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Randomness just because

So if u havent read in between any of my cleverly transparent lines in the last week or 3 of posts, i've got lots going on here in my world of beautiful chaos. Let's discuss, shall we?

My job
*sigh* actually make that a *double sigh* . In pursuit of an excellent education at Mills College, I must forego my nice & comfy paycheck that I have grown quite accustomed to over the past 3 years. I currently work 8 hrs a day, 5days a week, from 730-430. That doesnt mesh so well with the full courseload of classes that I need to take in order to graduate in 2 years. I've been doing school part time since 07 and I just cant do it anymore! I need to knock these 4 semesters out and snatch my degree and RUN. So something has to give. That something will be my: $50 monthly nailart expenditures, weekend movie runs, frequent eat-outings, random trips to ATL or anywhere else, electronic gadgets (but oh how i want an Ipod Touch), 85.00 hair appntmnts (those have been on the outs anyway), monthly hair product/makeup hauls, wkend trips in San Fran and the list goes on. Have you seen my life?? Oh yeah, i just tossed it out the window right along with my PAYCHECK! *quadruple sigh* So yeah, I gotta let it all go and cut back to working part time. Only now it looks like I wont even get part time hours with this new position i'm being offered. 12 damn hrs a week. That will cover my portion of RENT and just barely. I'm on pins & needles here, trying not to stress too much. But it's so hard. I'm just trying to keep in mind that i've been blessed with the opportunity to go to school and not pay a dime outta my own pockets, so that is keeping me uplifted. Now I just gotta scrounge the $$$ to pay a few of those little irrelevant things called B I LL S! If anyone knows of any legit work at home/online jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with filling out surveys for 2 cents, please hip me to it. Thanks.

My writing
I am a writer, if u haven't picked up on that. It's what I do in one form or another. Blogging, poetry, fiction, etc. Words and myself get along very well. But there's a problem, I have a slight tendency to start something...and it will be a really great something...and then I drop it like it's hot. (and not in a good way) I havent finished a body of work in so long it's shameful. I blame some of it on my brain being drained from all of the academic writing I have to do for school (Im an English major), the rest I blame on my sucky attention span. With the passing of my 26th bday (on July 10th),I acknowledge that I am not getting any younger. I will be 30 soon. Lawd be some good anti-aging genes & a potent memory stimulator! I need to make my published mark on the literary word before 2013. So I announce it here today at 12:12 pm, Chanel will finish a book and get it published & selling like hotcakes before I hit the big 3-0. I will do it. I need to tape up pictures of Oprah's Book Club logo, Michelle Obama and Michael Jackson as my motivations. *note to self* So y'all watch out for me okay?? And dont be afraid to ask me how the writing is coming along every now & then. I'll need the stimulant.

My website
So I purchased a web domain and a host for my site. I even started tinkering with it a bit. But then I realized that while my knowledge of html once pushed the limits of fly creativity on powderpuff userfriendly sites such as MySpace, Blackplanet and Downelink... in the real world of web designing, I SUCK ASS. smh. Blessings and bday gifts go out to webmasters who do this stuff for a living. It's beyond complicated. I'm willing and ready to admit that I need some help and quick! Before I completely hand it over to a pro (money i don't have cuz um, well u read my job situation) i'm gonna make one more stab at it after I buy a copy of Web Site Building for Super Dummies. I plan on making that purchase this Sunday. This is not a game. lol. I'd love to have my website up and running by the end of august. Keep your fingers crossed and positive vibes flowin freely cuz rite now it aint lookin so hot!!

So yeah. Got a lotta fricka frack goin on, but i'll sort it out and keep it movin cuz that's what I do!

Monday, July 13, 2009


Goodmorning love bunnies! [he he] So it's Monday & i'm all smiles *gasp!* T'was a BEAUTIFUL birthday weekend thanks to tloml & she has put a smile on my face strong enough to face an entire monday!! Love you baby =-) (Oh and thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bday)

Let me give u the rundown of what we did:

Friday- we laid around the house up under eachother for most of the day, which is always lovely. Went out to dinner at a great chinese bistro (chow mein, fried rice, orange chicken & garlic shrimp if u must kno) and then hit up some cosmic bowling until 130 in the morning. LOVED it!

Saturday- She surprised me with tickets to the musical Beach Blanket Babylon in San Fran. I've been wanting to go since forever now & it was absolutely hillarious. Im serious, if you're ever in the city, u gotta check it out. I can't even begin to describe what the show is about cuz its about so much. lol. It's an over the top variety cabaret show and they cover everything in the current news & its just funny as all hell. Elaborate costumes, catchy songs, great voices, risque humor, dancing, i loved it. And we'll be going again.

After the show we went out to dinner at this little Italian restaurant. My food was okay (the bread & wine was delish but the spaghetti was ehh. Im jus use to it the way I cook it! Sue me.) but she fell in love with her dish so it was cool. I love little Italy at sunset, absolutely beautiful. San Fran is a gorgeous city all the way around tho. Jus does something to my spirits when i'm there.

View as we were crossing the street. My gf said I looked like a tourist. lol.

Sunday- Took an impromptu drive up to Stockton cuz we were both feenin for some food from Sonic. lol. Came back home and spent some time with a friend at her family's house cuz they have HBO and we had to watch True Blood. Went home, watched The Secret Life of Bees and then crashed. I was exhausted!! It was a great weekend. Oh wait, my cake!! Omg she bought me the best cake ever. It's from Coldstone Creamery. Doesn't it look heavenly? It was. There's like a slice & a half left and im gonna tear that shit up when i get home!!;)

So yeah, i had a wonderful b-day and i'm looking forward to another year in my skin.


Friday, July 10, 2009

Guess what today is??!

MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES!! Woooooooooooooooo!

26 today...old as dirt. *sigh* But my gf told me to say that i'm twenty-sexy =-) I like that. Anywho, i'll be MIA cuz she has plans for me this wkend so i'll be back Monday with all the lovely D'tails. Have a great wkend.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Michael Jackson's Memorial In pictures/video

I'm not going to say much because I feel like my heart is bare right now and i'll probably go on and on talking about the many times during this memorial service where I broke down. So i'll give it to you in beautiful pictures and very few phrases here & there. Just know that it was the classiest, most heartfelt, goodbye ever. Thank you to the Jackson family for sharing this moment with us.

The was very hard to watch.

MJ will be buried at the Forest Lawn Cemetery...I will be visiting sometime in the very near future.

Queen La read a beautiful poem from the best Poetess ever, Dr. Maya Angelou. Brought the first round of tears to my eyes.

Brooke Shields truly spoke from her heart.

A very prego J-Hud sang the Free Willy song...she almost got me.

Ohhh but when Stevie sang Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer, I was through. He was magnificent.

Usher poor baby, bless his heart. He was overfilled with emotion. Had me all teared up.

Jermaine did a touching tribute. He held it together. Barely. But he did it.

All of the brothers were pall bearers. Touched my soul. And they were all wearing sequined gloves!

Beautiful gold casket. I can't believe he's in there though. It has not sunk all the way in yet.

At the end, the family came on stage and Marlon spoke for awhile. He broke down. Very, very sad. Janet was looking great. Heartbroken but strong. Im so worried about her.

And the moment that completely did me in was when Paris, Michael's oldest daughter, tried to speak and all she could get out was that he was the best daddy and she just wanted to say that she loved him...before dissolving into tears...omg. I was through. A mess.

This is a sad day for me and for so many others, but like I told tloml, we gotta look at MJ's life in retrospect and realize that he busted his ass to make it to the top. He IS the American Dream and yes it's very possible. His life wasn't perfect and he died way too soon, but he built a legacy through his blood, sweat and tears and whatever it is that we hope and dream for, we gotta be willing to work hard for it. Time is of the essence so we gotta make life count ASAP.

RIP Michael Joseph Jackson. The world has stopped in it's tracks for you over the past week and you deserved this kind of treatment BEFORE you were taken away....

Friday, July 3, 2009

Friday in a flash!

I've been missing in action this week for a few reasons. 1 i'm still shaken from Michael's death. My mind is all over the place and I can't really nail down any soild thoughts right now. And 2 I haven't been at work for most of this week and my gf has been on the computer at home most of the day doing hmwork so I havent really had an opportunity to post. But im here now and it's friday so I mite as well give it a try!

* Sarah Palin announced that she's stepping down from her position as Russian Gate Keeper Governor of Alaska today. I wonder who will be in charge of planning the month long Alaskan festivites once she's finally gone? Russia can now breathe a little easier cuz the little American pitbull in a skirt will no longer bother to look out of her window every other hour to make sure they're behaving themselves. Gee golly dontcha kno

* This week doesnt even feel real to me. I kinda feel like im floating, dreaming, in some pseudo-reality. And im not drunk. lol. Its just wierd.

* Al Sharpton is a mess. Did anyone see the pics of him at the memorial held for Michael in Harlem?? Grindin up on that woman like he was in a 1930's Mississipi juke joint. Sat down somewhere Al. And eat something. You're shriveling away!

* Janet Jackson broke my heart at the BET Awards. ;-( As if it needed to be broken any further...

*Speaking of the BET awards...lmao. BET should cancel itself. Immediately. From Tiny & Toya to that other new Pay Yo Bills Off game show...just a hot ass mess.

* Oh and speaking of Tiny. Why does it look like someone injected her top lip with steroids? Only the top lip though. Its all swolt up (yes I said swolt) and sits kinda crooked on her face. Geesh. TI should win a grammy just for waking up to that face on a normal basis. Once would do it for me.

*Saw Transformers last wkend. It was excellent. Kinda lengthy, but good. Megan Fox is hot.

*Goin to see My Sister's Keeper tonite. Im prepared to cry like a punk.

*Oh did I happen to mention that i'll probably be leaving my nice lil full time w/full benefits w/ a nice paycheck job for a less than part time, less than sufficient NO benefits at all job? Hmmm. More info on that move in another post.

* I'm working on my very own website :-) More info on that soon to come also.

* I'll leave on this note. For someone who was so over-speculated, Michael Jackson was severely overlooked. The people around him saw that man being destroyed. I'll stop short from saying that he was self-destructing because he most definitely had help. As society publicly ate away at him, his family and the few people who had direct access to him never stood up for him and offered solace in the midst of what had to be the most painful turmoil to endure. Piranhas have been after Michael since he first step foot on a stage, and not only were they drawing blood, they shared his. Family. The word is only as powerful as the meaning you give it.
I always wished that some nice, old grandmother would some kinda way find Michael and convince him to let her take care of him for a few months. Feed him, soothe his soul, pray for him, listen to him, wisely advise him, let him cry his heart out. That is what he needed. If he had that, I guarantee he would be alive and well today basking in his newfound glory. But it never happened. And we have lost the greatest talent this side of heaven and possibly on the other side as well. God is enjoying him now though. Moonwalk & all. I'll find my comfort in that.

Enjoy your 4th of July weekend everyone.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday quickie

Im leavin work early cuz I wanna go home to take care of my sick gf. Not much to talk about. Pride weekend was fun, a little disappointing saturday nite due to my own poor drinking judgment (lol), but sunday was cool. Um...tomorrow is payday yayyyyyyy! Lord knows this couldnt come any sooner cuz i'm beyond broke. So yeah, that's about it.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson has passed

I can't even write this right now im so in utter disbelief. I'll be back to finish this with a fitting tribute for such a legend...

8:24 pm
At home. Ive been watching the news since I got off work. Im a bit of a mess. Absolutely heartbroken. I havent processed this yet and im not sure when I will. I'm a true 80's baby. I'm that privileged. I grew up on Michael's music & his videos. I was around when EVERYONE respected and adored him because he's a musical genius. I witnessed a gift from God that will never ever happen again in my lifetime. Michael Jackson's legacy.

I fully believe that our harsh, judgmental, narcissistic, nosy, prying, cut throat society killed one of the greatest entertainers ever. If only we would have LET HIM LIVE...but no. Its our human nature to build up and then destroy...

One of my favorite songs off the Bad album-Liberian Girl

LOVE this song with all of my heart- Dirty Diana

Michael & Naomi, instant hotness- In The Closet

All kinds of great footage & the best collabo ever- Scream

Introducing the Moonwalk, 1983 (my birth yr) Motown 25 Special

BEST live performance ever. So many try to duplicate= massive fail.

I could go on and on. I love you Michael. Rest In Peace, you're in the hands of someone who loves you unconditionally.

No Hair, Dont Care

Lots of women feel this way I guess. Cuz I see people doing the oddest shit to their hair. Why if u have two strands of hair around your edges, are u continuing to get micro-braids?? If your ends look like tumbleweeds, why do you refuse to buy a good conditioner? *sigh* Guess they truly believe in the I am not my hair mantra. I guess. No one said you had to be your hair (wut is that anyway?) but you don't have to be bald either.

Anywho, my hair is doin great these days. I've bunned it for the past 2 weeks. Tryin to keep it drenched with moisturizer/conditioner with low manipulation.
Still washing & conditioning once a week. Haven't blow dried or flat ironed in 2 weeks and my hair is in heaven rite now. It's really soft and shiny. Typically my scalp hates to have any product applied directly to it. But since i've been air drying and bunning, I've been applying ORS hair fertilizer and my doo grow thickening oil directly to my scalp nightly and i haven't had any problems with severe flakes or itching. It's a miracle i tell u. I ran out of my ORS hair fertilizer last week :( so I had to break out a sample packet of ORS Olive Oil Moisturizing lotion and i fell in love. I think i'll be buying a big size and adding it to my regimen on my up-do days only. It's very thick & creamy but sooo moisturizing, like my hair feels like butter right now. lol, wutever that feels like. I also used Cantu Shea Butter to seal the moisture in and the results are quite nice. Haven't had much shedding at all this week and that makes me happy! So yeah, I think its nice and protected enough now so I can wear it down this weekend for Pride [WOOOOO!] & all next week and have absolutely no problems with dry ends. Yay!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Beyonce Experience it seems like i'll never have...

You better strut bitch!

"Your wrist says bling bling my crotch says bling blow!"
Mrs. Carter officially kicked off her U.S tour at Madison Square Garden in New York yesterday and sadly...I was not in attendance. It's not only because she was all the way in NY. She'll be right here in Oakland on July 10 MY BIRTHDAY dammit! But I wont be there for that show either. Why? Because her tickets are like $98,497 a piece. Okay so they're more like 300.00 & sum change for the good seats but um...I dont have it :-( I am not a Beyonce stan. I dont foam at the mouth and spew green vomit when someone talks shit about her. Hell I personally think she's a little ditta-dee (slow) whenever she's not performing. But when ms lady takes the stage, the chick is on point. She goes hard for two hrs straight and never misses a beat. And I wanna take it all in LIVE. **sigh** Oh well. This will probably (hopefully??) be her last tour for a long while because maybe (hopefully??) she'll take like 4 yrs off and have a baby-Jay or a mini-Bey. So maybe i'm holding out for the best performance ever. Cuz I know after she takes a long vacay she'll come back fiercer and hungrier than ever. Sasha Fierce on E. Yeah, i'll definitely be at her comeback tour. By then i'll be a little less broke (hopefully??) and i'll be able to afford the price tag attached to her ass. Literally.

Monday, June 22, 2009


And stress is not my friend. Im being very non-productive (counter-productive??) today because I have too much shit on my mind. My upcoming school schedule is completely conflicting with my job schedule and I'm feeling really pressured to just make it all better but its not that easy. I gotta go to school and Mills is where I wanna be and who has given me lots of $$$. But i gotta keep my job because uh, i have bills. But being a full time student is not adventagious while holding a part time, day time job in an office that stays as busy as my job is. I dont know what to do. I really wanna quit all together and start my own business, internet based. Bt im too scary to risk not having an income for awhile to jump start it. Im just really frustrated & panicked right now. I need to ground myself quickly cuz thats the only way im gonna get anything sorted out....

Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday in a flash!

Damn this week flew! I was just complaining about it being Monday yesterday! And here it is yet another beautiful glorious wonderful FRIDAY =-) Yeahhhhhh. So before I get started, I dont know if I ever explained the concept of my Friday in a Flash posts. Typically they're comprised of numerous brief twitter-like updates of everything that went on during the week, random things that are on my mind and other nonsensical musings that I find relevant. It's like all of my potential blog topix clashed and bled into one uber post because I can't settle my mind enough to only talk about one thing. [it happens often] That's what Friday Flashin is. So sit back and enjoy this weeks version!

* Now everyone was complainin when it was overcast and a lil chilly outside, now it's hell in a handbasket out there and I have a problem with it. You know sugar and heat dont mix well.

* I had a twix yesterday and it was so damn good. Best cheap chocolate fix ever.

* I love that i've connected with all my favorite bloggers over at Twitter. Conversation is ridiculous! Yall should join in.

* I want some IHOP pancakes. Like right now.

* Lots of stupidity occurred this week. We've got to do better my people.

* Next to my IHOP pancakes I want some Taco Bell. I always want some damn TB. I swear they lace that ground beef with crack rocks.

* My mommy is comin tomorrow for a few days =-) We're suppose to be doin lunch w/my disappearing act of a brother, but i'll believe it when I see him.

*Schools over for the youngins!! Means the streets are about to become a hot bed of hormonal iniquity among other things.

* No one's in my office all day. PARTY!!! *ahem* No i'm responsible. No parties. I'm just leaving 2 hrs early ;-)

* I miss the L word. Seriously.

* Tina & Jess Get Skinny is some of the best motivation for my waist line this summer!

* Twix, Taco Bell & IHOP are not.

* I haven't had an almaretto sour in hella long. I use to drink those like water. Now i'm a thug = Southern Comfort straight up. lol.

* I need to start planning my GFDP (Grown Folks Dinner Party).

* I'm only taking one class this summer. YAYY! And it's kicking my ass. Boooooooooo.

* I miss my daddy. Gotta go see him in Vegas. Why my mom didnt bring him out with her idk.

* Twas a GOOD week!

* And it will be an even better weekend. ENJOY IT Y'ALL! Be safe =-)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Twitteretiquette - get some

I'm fairly new to the beast that is Twitter. I follow a few people with over 7,000 updates. I'm only at like 300 & sumthin. It's a cool lil site though and some of my twitterkittens are absolutely hillarious and I thank yall for following me there on Twit and here on Blogger. But some of yall....lord some of yall need to get it together or yall gots ta go. You don't have to erase yourself from per se, but u gotta get the hell off my follow list. Let me explain to you why u may be expelled some time real soon-

  1. If I twit you at 9:27am my time and you dont feel the need to respond until 8:30pm my time, do not get mad if I dont know what the hell you're talking about anymore. My mind has moved on. U missed the small bit of attention I was paying you. Just let it go.

  2. If you twit me and I dont say shit back to u, it's for one of 2 reasons: 1, i'm not on cuz I do have other more important things to do or 2, I dont really understand wtf you are trying to say to me. If i repeatedly respond to u with nothin but ???? marks, it means u make no damn sense. Stop talking to me.

  3. If i'm one of 3 people you follow on Twitter, you probably require too much time from me that i'll never give you. Do not let all of your @'s have my name after it because that's a lil scary.

  4. If I take time out of my busy day to @ you and u never @ me back, but then one day I say sumthin hella funny and u just gotta get in on the convo...please spare yourself the humility cuz I will call u out for jumpin on bandwagons that you were NOT invited to.

  5. If all you do is post those irritating ass links to that ridiculous site that promises to give you 1000's of followers, delete yourself from my life today.

  6. If you retweet my updates and do not put my name at the end or in front of it, you're a damn plagiarizer and u have no creative thoughts and u should re-evaluate why you even have an account.

  7. If you ever see me having a convo with ToniInCharge, leave me alone cuz thats my gf & i'd rather talk to her :-) It rarely happens tho cuz she never updates :-(

  8. If I FollowFriday you, don't be an asshole your whole life. FollowFriday me back. Thanks.

  9. If you follow me, and I block you, it was for a good reason that I dont have to share with you but I will if you push me.

  10. If I follow you, its probably because 1, you follow my blogs or i follow your blogs , or 2, you have really funny/relevant/deep tweets. (RevRuns are the best!) If either of these 2 things are removed from the equation, the chances of me continuing to follow you is slim to none. Im sorry. Dont ask me why I stopped following you just know that you slipped up on something and should investigate yourself.

  11. If I go on twitter and see 883 updates from you in the am, and then I come back when i get off work and it's like u never left, you're addicted and u need twitterers-anonymous. You know who u are. Put yourself in isolation and come back next week.

Okay! So now that you've gained some twit-sense, go ahead and stalk me at :-)

~Back in the day when television was good~

So even though I have a few current tv addictions that im not proud of, overall the world of television sucks ass. A total lack of creativity, uniqueness and interesting ideas has taken over the air waves and it's just all bad. But man I was thinking about all the old shows I use to LOVE and I wish they would all come back with new episodes and wipe this irrelevant shit off my screen.

A Different World was the show that influenced me to go to a Historically Black college. This was my shit. And it was good all the way through. Shows now start sucking past the 3rd season. Like just everyone die already. But this show was hella funny. And I was sooo happy when Whitley and Duane got married ;-)

But there wouldn't have even been A Different World had it not been for the Cosby Show. This show set the bar for every other black family show...and no other show quite reached its status. I use to swear I was a part of this family. Why does Sandra look like an 1870's school marm?

Martiiin. Martiiin. This show was so grown and sexy and hillarious. I was only like 11 when it was on but it made me long to be in my 20's and out on my own in a relationship. Now that i'm 25... i wanna be eleven again watchin it on tv. Life isnt as funny as Martin. lol.

LOVE this show. Another 20sumthin singles show that made me wanna move to New York. Max was hillarious, Sinclaire was a dingbat, Regina was retarded and Khadija was sooo freakin gay. lol. I knew it before she knew it.

Melrose Place. Okay so the show was kinda over-dramatic and the one token black chick really got on my nerves, but i was addicted to this series. I had to sneak and watch it after 90210 cuz my dad wad like ummmm half naked white people all sexin each other up and then murdering each other?? Not gonna happen. lol. I watched it tho!!
Ahhhh Beverly Hills 90210. Such horrible acting but ohh the drama! I was like a 5th grader at the peak of this shows existence and it made me all giddy about being in high school. Unfortunately my high school looked more like Compton 90220. But wutever. I loved me some 90210. And not this new CW bullshit. I hate that they tried to remake a classic. Just leave it alone. And curse Kelly's life for appearing on it as a damn guidance ccounselor. And i wanted to kick her ass anyway for stealing Dylan from Brenda. Dirty triflin bitch. Okay wooo sah! Takin me back!

Saved By The Bell. One of the cheesiest shows ever but I was addicted. I wanted to be Lisa Turtle. lol. And i was happy as hell when Zack kissed her that one time. Cuz I was too mad that the only black girl on the show wasn't gettin no kinda play. And that's some bull anyway cuz anytime u have a cute black girl with money...she's gonna be runnin shit. Sorry Kelly & Jessie. And wtf was mentally wrong with Jessie anyway? Cuz that Showgirls movie....NOT a good look.
Dont ever do that again. Ever.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

5 weeks post relaxer as of today

Yayy another hair post! So i just realized that today i'm 5wpr. Doing quite well. Actually now is about the time I really start enjoying my hair. Directly after a relaxer its sooo straight (even tho I under-process it on purpose) & soft and kinda just does its own thing. But around the 4th week a few more waves sneak in and I get body outta this world when I wear it down. Since its the summer I decided im gonna protective-style it for the next few weeks. For the rest of this month and most of next month ill be bunning and heavily moisturizing, DCing and oiling. No heat at all. Hopefully I can get an inch or 2 of growth in. I already have some decent thickage goin on at my roots. I could kiss my ORS Hair fertilizer and my Nourishair vitamins! **MuAh**

Jada Pinkett Smith is my shero

I watched Jada's new series premiere last night, Hawthorne and I've found yet another TV addiction. *sigh* She's such a great actress and i've missed her emotion and sincerity that comes across on screen. Plus she's SEXY as shit. Please jus look at her...

And I love the way Will looks at her, like she's the only person in the universe.

Can they be any freakin hotter? Geeez. Will lookin like yea i jus beat that shit up. lol

Okay so yeah, now that you've enjoyed the eye candy let me give you more reasons why i'm feelin her so much. First off she has the best hair ever. Maybe I need to go ahead and try Carol's Daughter products if they can make my hair look like that! In the latest Ebony mag she claims its all hers...*side eye* I'm gonna go ahead and believe her cuz Jada wouldn't lie to me :-) I'm jus jealous cuz its gorgeous. lol.

Today I read Jada's tips & tricks on how to keep sex alive and well in a relationship and yes Ms. Jada is a freak. Her advice is to "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom that's not yours. Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex. Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road... Just switch it up."

Mmm hmm. Thats why Will is such a pleasant person. Jada be puttin it on him in the middle of grocery stores and shit. Im gonna have to try this...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

If Brooke Hogan were my child...

she'd come up missin. Real talk. This bitch done slipped and bumped her head. Now I understand (well not really but i can fake it) how hard it is when your parents divorce. You feel torn, neglected, depressed, confused, etc. And you might even feel like u have to make a decision between which parent you live with, feel loyal to, blah blah blah. But Brooke, come on now. This chick is a grown ass woman up here pickin sides like she's in jr high and slangin mud like she ready to vaseline up!

"I'm just looking at how my dad's treating me and how my mom's treating me, and my mom has kind of backstabbed me a couple times. I look at the things she's released and said about me and I'm like, how could I ever trust her again? Like who does that to their kid? She threw me under the bus in front of the whole world!"

*blank stare & crickets*

Bitch she said your titties were fake. Big deal. They are. She was probably tired of u talkin greasy about her and her new man-child. Just because you aint gettin no ass doesn't mean u gotta drag your mother through the gutter for introducing some young dick into her life. Just because Linda looks a little like Hatchett from Cry baby [see above] don't mean her 1st born gotta turn on her like that. After waking up next to Hulk for years, hell I would probably lurk around high schools my damn self. Brooke is acting like a ungrateful spoiled-rotten little girl who is far too attached to her daddy's crusty n dusty nuts for her own good. She really wants to make a decision over which parent to be loyal to? Let's see here:

On one side we have an old played out washed up has been wrestler who spends day & nite stalking his grown ass daughter, cock blockin left & right ensuring that she'll be a virgin (HA!) for the rest of her life.

And on the other side of the ring we have a curvy cougar who may be a lil past her prime but sumthin must be good cuz she's still able to pull young blonde 19 yr olds who undoubtedly have young hot 19 yr old friends to hook Brooke's lonely ass up with.

Verdict= Brooke Hogan is a dummy.

Maybe if she weren't too busy tryin to look like America's Next Top Blonde Porn Star, she'd be able to form a logic thought....and record a decent album.

If I was her mama, this is what Brooke would be lookin like on her next album cover

I'm jus sayin

Monday, June 15, 2009

Oh i've got lots of shit to talk today

It's Monday [can i get a collective chorus of boos?] but i'm determined to be thankful for seeing yet another week.

My weekend was chill. Pretty much just laid around with the tloml (the love of my lyfe), went to the movies to see The Taking of Pelham 123. It was pretty damn good. I didn't expect any less from Denzel & John. Mr. Travolta made one hell of a bad guy. I liked it! I babysat my lil man Elijah for a few hrs & watched hours of mind-numbing tv. Which brings me to the next part of my post.

Is anyone else watching this show? I never even heard of it (i have sucky ass showtime) until my co-worker came in one day a few months ago ranting and raving about one of the episodes. I was like wtf is true blood? As soon as she told me it was a freaky vampire series on HBO my interest was most definitely peaked. I just watched the first 7 episodes over the weekend and um... Twilight it ain't. Twilight didn't deserve half of its hype in my book because any vampire movie/series that contains absolutely no blood sucks ass. But I guess i can understand why teenyboppers would love the pubescent movie. But these grown ass women runnin around in love with Edward and swooning over all things Twilight need to be punched in the left eye.

But True Blood is shaping up to be quite the entertaining series. And its for ADULTS which means there's blood and lots of sex. Started off a little slow. The first 2 eps left my gf and I like ummmm okay. But the deeper into it we're getting, the better it's becoming. I wont talk too much about it here cuz I dnt wanna spoil it for anyone. I just wanna know if any of you guys are watching it??

Wut else is on my mind? Oh yeah. These fools rite here.

Who didn't see this divorce coming? I coulda told him this was gonna be a hot ass mess the night of his honeymoon. I'll never understand why anyone would choose to participate in career suicide for the dumbest of reasons. Now dont get me wrong. Love is never the wrong reason for a life change. But obviously this wasn't true love. This was ooops i done went and knocked this bitch up and her family is from east oakland and i'm not about to come up missing so I guess i'll make an honest women outta her. Pffft. See how far that got him? Such a retard. And then he had the nerve to bash his fans for tryin to tell him the damn truth!? Whatever Ush. Hopefully your next album wont be good for only resting my liquor glasses on. Oh wait. I didn't buy it. Guess it's not even good enough for that....

And last but not least

I caught a serious attitude when this chick came out a yr or so ago and all I heard were Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie comparisons. I was like hell to the no. Dark hair, light eyes and semi-big lips does not automatically put you on Ms. Jolie's level. Sorry. So I immediately blocked that nonsense out of my peripheral. But after seeing some of the latest pictures of Megan, imma have to go ahead and re-evaluate her case. Now I still dont think she tops Angie. Hell Angie isn't even toppin herself these days. But um, Megan is steppin up her sexy. Give her a few more yrs and some acting classes and i mite have to throw her on my wcwcgi list. [white chicks who can get it]