Thursday, May 14, 2009

Letter to my unborn child

I thieved this idea from one of my favorite bloggers Awesomely Luvvie. Thought it was a cute idea. I actually think I wrote one of these a long long time ago but i'm sure that thing is dusty and non-relevant (irrelevant maybe??) as hell so i'll take another stab at it. And now my letter to my unborn child....

To whom this may concern To my little princess, (in a perfect world you'll be a girl)
Aww hi honey. Let me start by saying that i'm sure you are just about the most gorgeous ,adorable, precious, cute, fluffy, happiest baby ever. I say just about because well, I was a baby once and I took that crown 25 yrs ago :-) Anyway, okay so I have lots of things to tell you. I'll try to keep this as short as possible because if you're anything like me, you have the attention span of a flea...whatever that span may be. I just wanted to tell you a little bit about myself and your Ima and about this world you're gonna be born into.

First things first, let me apologize beforehand for possibly scaring the crap out of you during the birthing process. Im sure i'll be screaming bloody murder and using words that you better not even form your lips to say until you're old enough to pay rent. I know i'm gonna look a hot funky mess with hair plastered to my head, ice chips dripping from my mouth and lots of drugs running through my veins. But hopefully you'll see past the blood, sweat, and tears and see that yes you're mommy is fly and you've inherited some great genes. So no worries. Now your Ima (which means mom in Hebrew) on the other hand, thinks she'll be as cool as a cucumber throughout the whole ordeal. Something tells me to highly doubt it but hey, you never know. One thing for sure is that she'll look a helluva ooops I mean a whole lot better than I will at that moment. She always looks that good. So no worries there either. Being born into a gorgeous family isn't the most important thing, but it's a nice little treat when it does happen.

I have to warn you that mommy has a bit of a potty mouth. I will work on this. There are some things that your young ears just don't need to hear. But i'm not perfect so i'm sure a few things will slip by. Just remember that none of these words are directed at you, it's just mommy's way of venting. I'm also going to be very protective. I wont say i'll be over-protective because I know how it feels to be smothered sheltered and I don't want to do that to you. But I will always have at least one eye on you while you're under the age of 18. Past that, you can make it do what it your own place of residence. Your Ima is also very very observant. Trust me honey, I know. Not too much will slip past her so maybe you should try to bypass the sneaky phase if you can. Between her watchful eyes and the fact that i've done everything under the sun and know all the tricks in the book...we got you covered.

Hmm, what else? Oh! Please be prepared to have very little free time. Your Ima and I plan on keeping you nice and busy from the time you start walking until you graduate. Between school, sports, some type of creative outlet, church and spending time with family, you will have no time to waste standing idly on street corners. Undoubtedly, you'll be too smart for your own good so we have to keep those mental juices flowing towards something positive. I'm sure your friends will understand because hopefully we'll successfully teach you how to chose them wisely. Speaking of friends, I think your ima and I will be pretty easy going when the time comes when you start having friends over and what not. As long as they don't do too much. Honey we love you but we aren't obligated to let your friends eat us out of house and home on a nightly basis. Unless we're getting stipends from their parents. I'm just sayin.

Ok sweetie, let's briefly deal with dating. For sake of this turning into a four page letter, i'll just say not to expect much to happen before you turn 16. And we put an age on it, but if you hit 16 and you're not mentally prepared and responsible for all that comes along with teenage dating, you won't be dating. Once again, we don't want to shelter you, but you do have to prove yourself trustworthy for us to extend certain privileges to you. In other words, help us help you. If you know you want to go to the movies with little Johnny, or little Erica (you never know), but you know you haven't been keeping up your end of the maturity and responsibility agreement, don't even ask. But if you have been doing what you need to do AND if we've met him or her and he or she isn't on some extra wierdness, go out. Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Hold up. Scratch that. Don't do anything I did at all. As a matter of fact, do the exact opposite.

One main thing your ima and I want to get across to you is that you will be a part of a huge, busy world. There's a lot going on. Some good, a lot bad. You're just one little person and you don't have to be pressured into getting involved in every single thing. But you can make a difference in whatever it is you choose to do. And it is your choice. We'll guide you to the best of our abilities and help you make smart decisions, but we won't choose your path for you. You have lots of time and opportunity to grow into a fabulous adult and I can't wait to watch your personality take shape. With us as your I'm sure you're gonna be a trip. In a good way though, of course :-) The world will try to make you conform to this way or that, according to what's "socially acceptable". But we hope to be role models of how to walk/dance/run to your own rhythm and love it.

Last but most definitely not least, please always know that you are loved and cherished beyond a shadow of a doubt. Your ima waited many moons for you and I went through hell and back to get you here so yeah, you're adored. Talk to us when you need to and i'm sure you'll get more than enough feedback. If you ever need or want anything and we can afford it, ask. If we can't afford it and you're old enough, don't worry, you'll have a job. Remember, we might be closer than close, but ima and I aren't perfect and we dont expect you to be either! Mistakes will be made on both ends. The important thing is to learn from them. This journey should be loads of fun & I can't wait to get started. I love you!!

Your mommy


  1. Awww...this almost made me cry. I've read a few of these in the past, but to read one that actually involves a future part of me is incredible. Thank you for writing this. And hopefully Blogger wouldn't have shut down by the time she's here and we can then read it to her. :)

    I love you

  2. This is so sweet. Makes me almost want to have kids, lol. When do you want to start a family with your girlfriend? or hopefully by that time wife.

  3. lol baby, blogger will still be here. But maybe i will save this somewhere else. :-) I love u too sooo much.

    Jay, thanks! Well she wants kids now. lol. Im trying to hold off until im done with school so within after the next 2-3 yrs hopefully.


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