Thursday, February 12, 2009

Relationships 101-or whichever other course you failed.

4 simple questions here. I'll throw in my 50 cents, you kindly donate your 2 quarters, and maybe we can come up with a whole dollar somewhere in between. K?

  1. What, exactly, is flirting?
  2. Are there varying stages of flirting?
  3. Is it ok to to flirt when you have a significant other?
  4. Is flirting ever truly harmless?

Webster's definitions of flirting are:
To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures towards someone.
To deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with a person or a thing (to flirt with danger)
To move abruptly or jerkily.

I can deal with these definitons. The last one isn't relevant for the purpose of this post so scratch it. The first two cover the bases pretty well. To put it in my own words, to flirt is to 1)interact playfully and suggestive towards someone you are sexually attracted to or 2)to tease/play/joke with someone or with an idea that you aren't necessarily taking seriously.

So that's flirting.

In my little world, there are varying stages of flirting, all depending on your intent behind the act. If i'm flirting with the guy selling me a $95.00 pair of shoes because I think he'll knock off 15 percent for me, I probably won't be laying it on too terribly thick. A lot of smiling, direct eye contact, extra friendly chit chat and maybe leaning towards him (or her:) over the counter and there you have it. Basic stuff. If i'm flirting with a girl I see standing outside the (insert public place here) because I think she's cute and I want her to kick some game, i'll step it up a bit. More suggestive and direct. If i'm at the club and i'm trying to get some ass from a particular person (doesn't happen cuz I typically go to the club WITH the person i'm already gettin some ass from) I'd probably go all out and if she can't tell what my intentions are, she must be special ed.

So yeah, there are varying degrees of flirtiness.

Is it ok to flirt if you're already with someone?? Ok look. Flirting is natural. It's gonna happen. Whether u do it on purpose or if its just a part of who you are, you are going to flirt. Some people tend to mix flirting with being "friendly" and to me, they have nothing to do with one another. The person who says "I'm just friendly!", can usually be translated into "I flirt with every damn body!" I can smile at someone and show myself friendly to random people without smiling and showing myself interested. Granted, it doesn't happen often cuz im just not that nice of a person. lol.

And lastly, to me (and how my girl put it last night), flirting with anyone outside of your relationship is harmless only when it isn't hurting or being disrespectful of your partner. I'll add to that by saying it's also non-harmless only if the object of your flirtation does not take it or you too seriously, and as long as it isnt happening every single time you step outside.

SO there you have it. My .50 deposit. Where's yours?? Agree? Disagree? Could care less?


  1. Well, i said all i can say about this for 4 hours last beter yet, the last 4 years.

  2. I tend to reserve the flirting for people who know I am not serious.

    Any other kind has only brought me trouble. :P

  3. I flirt a whoooole lot. lol But I'd never do it while in a relationship. Not saying it's wrong for other people, but that light bulb goes off when a man puts a ring on it lol
    And I'd most likely prefer who ever I'm with not to flirt either. Playing with fire, could get ya burned. But if my significant other has a problem with that, we're probably better off as friends.

    I think it's all up to the individuals in the relationship. A friend of mine just got married. She was the ULTIMATE flirt, but once she settled down, she cut it out. We all wondered how she would fair but everything seems to be going well lol


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