Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The piranha pool of does it work?

I am not a dater. I dont do it. Never have. If things work out forever and ever with my current relationship of four years, then i'll never have to. To me, dating is like having the frequent sensation that you have to take a bowel movement, but everytime you try absolutely nothing comes out but gas. I hate it. Its pointless, a waste of time and irritates the hell out of me.

But that's just me.

I know some people are serial daters. They could spend 90% of life mixing and mingling and bouncing from one saturday night special to the next all while stocking up on contraceptives and liquor along the way. And I also know that no, all serial daters aren't whores, therefore all daters are not actually having sex with everyone they go out on a date with. They just truly love to meet new people and pray to God not to be bored to death. Well I just don't have the inclination to gather up contact info of various people, spend the energy to get all glammed up and go out...only to be disappointed. Not saying that i'll be disappointed every single time. But according to what many of you on the dating market are saying (and according to me not being the easiest person to entertain), I'm pretty sure most of my dating experiences would be astronomical disappointments for various reasons: bad breath, bad looks, bad convo, bad sense of humor, bad sense of style, bad manners, bad odor, bad chemistry, just all bad.

Sooo i've been able to forego casual dating for most of my life and i'm happy about it. I'm not saying i've never been out on a date before. Yeah, i've been picked up, handed flowers and taken out...but never by a complete stranger who I didn't even know whether or not I ever wanted to see them again in my life. This is how it always seemed to go for me:

1.Someone I already knew as a friend OR someone i didnt know personally but saw out and about shows interest in me.

2. If i'm interested back, we'd exchange numbers and spend the next few days running up phone bills.

3. If i like what i hear over the phone, I agree to go out on the illustrious "1st date".

4. That 1st date leads to a 2nd, and then a 3rd and then bam! Relationship.

Clean cut and dry. No awkward dates with someone I had zero chemistry with. For damn sure no blind dates. No dates with someone I can never see myself being least for a few months. And that's how i liked it. All of this going out meeting random people at the club/mall/on the corner every other night only to be turned off when I actuallly attempt to hold a conversation with them is for the birds.

So how does the dating game work for you?


  1. Do you know, I never dated before...? I always went from one relationship to another so I never really did the dating scene.

    A small part of me is regretful of that...

  2. Me too Tina. That's exactly how I've done it. I wouldn't say a part of me regrets not dating. Not at all. A small part of me does regret not being single a little more often though.

  3. People don't kno what they're missing out on if you've never dated. Dating can be one of the best experiences of your life. It's fulfilling in a different way. You can meet people that it just stops at one date and that's it, or you can meet someone that you enjoy spending time with but never intend on takin serious so u just go along for the ride. Or you can end up meeting people that will forever remain in your life, even if just as a friend.

    If you only enter relationships with people you know, you run into a lot of problems. First off, you end up wondering why in the world you did that in the first place. Second, you end up, typically, losing the friendship, associateship, what-have-you, that you had before the relationship. Not dating is just a lazy way of being non-social to me. How do you ever meet new people if you never meet new people? Hello!

    But, hey, to each hi/her own.

  4. Dating is overrated...well, lemme not say that...I suck at dating because I usually don't have the willpower needed to let things progress naturally...I'd rather "hit it" first then see if I still like ya'...instead I have a Black book full of fella's I can call on when I need em' for something...whether its convo, a bite to eat, or a night of pledgya'...the guy who comes around everyday ends up wearing the crown.

  5. I feel as if you can meet new people without dating them. Why do u have to date to meet people? You don't have to open yourself up in that manner to meet anyone. If i'm goin on a date with you, its because im interested in u in a manner beyond friendly. I dont need 10 people in my life that im interested in like that. Its pointless to me. But yeah, to each his or her own.

  6. I agree with Chanel... you don't need an all-star team to get to know people. I feel like their is a natural progression of things. People are drawn to each other for all types of walks of life and reasons. If we just take the time to open our eyes and notice the people around us we could meet interesting, exciting new people without the bad first date.

  7. Girl, I would be in the house by myself all day everyday, if I had to wait on dealing with someone i already know, or knows a friend of mine, to holla at me. I never meet potentials like that. lol

    I must say, I like dating...A LOT. I do however, prefer being in a relationship (even though I'm scared of those. i know it makes no sense but hey..thats me)because they have more consistency.

    I will say though, that even though I date ALOT, I am very picky. I dont go out with someone that I haven't had extensive convo over the phone with. We have to have talked for at least 8-14 days before I go out with you. That way, I know that the guy is at least interesting enough to keep my attention for a few hours, so I'm rarely disappointed on a date. I've had lots of fun on them and I can count on one hand the times that I've only gone out once with someone due to a horrible experience.

    But to each his/her own. The one thing that I love about dating, is not having to answer to anyone and the variety of personalities and experiences. My mom told me in high school not to get serious with anybody: "date as much as you need to while you're young because that will help you find out what you dont like about men". Her advice was so true and it's helped me not to rush into anything with a guy because he's cute or has "Swag" lol


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