I was born a people person. I was one of those babies that everyone loved to hold and I was passed from lap to lap, kisses constantly planted on my fat cheeks. I ate the attention right on up. In pre school, I was the little girl always consoling the crying kids in the corner who were distressed about their parents ditching them. In elementary and middle school I kept a strong band of friends who lit the recess area up at lunch with gossip and laughter. In high school, I joined clubs, edited the school newspaper and flew like a butterfly. I truly loved the networking and the socializing with my peers, and my best friends were like family and were attached to my beeper which was constantly attached to my hip.
What in the hell happened?
I'm now 25, out of high school and into the real world of a full time job, a full time relationship and part time college courses. Bills, homework, random arguments and an overactive worrysome mind keep me on edge. I find little time to socialize and when I do scrape up a few hours to spend with friends, I find myself sidetracked with thoughts of things on my to do list. I seem to have lost my ability to let go and enjoy the company of others outside of my household and I want the ability back!! I do miss having a group of girlfriends to hang out with, talk about all of the wierd stuff that no one else but your best friends would ever care about while engaging in hours spent at the mall or some cute restaurant in the city. I miss it. But I never allow myself the opportunity to take part in it. And now I seem to have lost all connection with those friends who I would do that with and it sucks.
As I said in an earlier post, I don't do New Yr resolutions. But I will make it a point to get myself up and out of the rut of work home school work home school work home school, and i'll go OUT with some friends and just BE.