Monday quickie

Im leavin work early cuz I wanna go home to take care of my sick gf. Not much to talk about. Pride weekend was fun, a little disappointing saturday nite due to my own poor drinking judgment (lol), but sunday was cool. Um...tomorrow is payday yayyyyyyy! Lord knows this couldnt come any sooner cuz i'm beyond broke. So yeah, that's about it.

Michael Jackson has passed

I can't even write this right now im so in utter disbelief. I'll be back to finish this with a fitting tribute for such a legend...


8:24 pm
At home. Ive been watching the news since I got off work. Im a bit of a mess. Absolutely heartbroken. I havent processed this yet and im not sure when I will. I'm a true 80's baby. I'm that privileged. I grew up on Michael's music & his videos. I was around when EVERYONE respected and adored him because he's a musical genius. I witnessed a gift from God that will never ever happen again in my lifetime. Michael Jackson's legacy.

I fully believe that our harsh, judgmental, narcissistic, nosy, prying, cut throat society killed one of the greatest entertainers ever. If only we would have LET HIM LIVE...but no. Its our human nature to build up and then destroy...


One of my favorite songs off the Bad album-Liberian Girl


LOVE this song with all of my heart- Dirty Diana


Michael & Naomi, instant hotness- In The Closet


All kinds of great footage & the best collabo ever- Scream


Introducing the Moonwalk, 1983 (my birth yr) Motown 25 Special


BEST live performance ever. So many try to duplicate= massive fail.

I could go on and on. I love you Michael. Rest In Peace, you're in the hands of someone who loves you unconditionally.

No Hair, Dont Care

Lots of women feel this way I guess. Cuz I see people doing the oddest shit to their hair. Why if u have two strands of hair around your edges, are u continuing to get micro-braids?? If your ends look like tumbleweeds, why do you refuse to buy a good conditioner? *sigh* Guess they truly believe in the I am not my hair mantra. I guess. No one said you had to be your hair (wut is that anyway?) but you don't have to be bald either.


Anywho, my hair is doin great these days. I've bunned it for the past 2 weeks. Tryin to keep it drenched with moisturizer/conditioner with low manipulation.
Still washing & conditioning once a week. Haven't blow dried or flat ironed in 2 weeks and my hair is in heaven rite now. It's really soft and shiny. Typically my scalp hates to have any product applied directly to it. But since i've been air drying and bunning, I've been applying ORS hair fertilizer and my doo grow thickening oil directly to my scalp nightly and i haven't had any problems with severe flakes or itching. It's a miracle i tell u. I ran out of my ORS hair fertilizer last week :( so I had to break out a sample packet of ORS Olive Oil Moisturizing lotion and i fell in love. I think i'll be buying a big size and adding it to my regimen on my up-do days only. It's very thick & creamy but sooo moisturizing, like my hair feels like butter right now. lol, wutever that feels like. I also used Cantu Shea Butter to seal the moisture in and the results are quite nice. Haven't had much shedding at all this week and that makes me happy! So yeah, I think its nice and protected enough now so I can wear it down this weekend for Pride [WOOOOO!] & all next week and have absolutely no problems with dry ends. Yay!

The Beyonce Experience it seems like i'll never have...

You better strut bitch!

"Your wrist says bling bling my crotch says bling blow!"

Stressed

And stress is not my friend. Im being very non-productive (counter-productive??) today because I have too much shit on my mind. My upcoming school schedule is completely conflicting with my job schedule and I'm feeling really pressured to just make it all better but its not that easy. I gotta go to school and Mills is where I wanna be and who has given me lots of $$$. But i gotta keep my job because uh, i have bills. But being a full time student is not adventagious while holding a part time, day time job in an office that stays as busy as my job is. I dont know what to do. I really wanna quit all together and start my own business, internet based. Bt im too scary to risk not having an income for awhile to jump start it. Im just really frustrated & panicked right now. I need to ground myself quickly cuz thats the only way im gonna get anything sorted out....

Friday in a flash!

Damn this week flew! I was just complaining about it being Monday yesterday! And here it is yet another beautiful glorious wonderful FRIDAY =-) Yeahhhhhh. So before I get started, I dont know if I ever explained the concept of my Friday in a Flash posts. Typically they're comprised of numerous brief twitter-like updates of everything that went on during the week, random things that are on my mind and other nonsensical musings that I find relevant. It's like all of my potential blog topix clashed and bled into one uber post because I can't settle my mind enough to only talk about one thing. [it happens often] That's what Friday Flashin is. So sit back and enjoy this weeks version!

* Now everyone was complainin when it was overcast and a lil chilly outside, now it's hell in a handbasket out there and I have a problem with it. You know sugar and heat dont mix well.

* I had a twix yesterday and it was so damn good. Best cheap chocolate fix ever.

* I love that i've connected with all my favorite bloggers over at Twitter. Conversation is ridiculous! Yall should join in.

* I want some IHOP pancakes. Like right now.

* Lots of stupidity occurred this week. We've got to do better my people.

* Next to my IHOP pancakes I want some Taco Bell. I always want some damn TB. I swear they lace that ground beef with crack rocks.

* My mommy is comin tomorrow for a few days =-) We're suppose to be doin lunch w/my disappearing act of a brother, but i'll believe it when I see him.

*Schools over for the youngins!! Means the streets are about to become a hot bed of hormonal iniquity among other things.

* No one's in my office all day. PARTY!!! *ahem* No i'm responsible. No parties. I'm just leaving 2 hrs early ;-)

* I miss the L word. Seriously.

* Tina & Jess Get Skinny is some of the best motivation for my waist line this summer!

* Twix, Taco Bell & IHOP are not.

* I haven't had an almaretto sour in hella long. I use to drink those like water. Now i'm a thug = Southern Comfort straight up. lol.

* I need to start planning my GFDP (Grown Folks Dinner Party).

* I'm only taking one class this summer. YAYY! And it's kicking my ass. Boooooooooo.

* I miss my daddy. Gotta go see him in Vegas. Why my mom didnt bring him out with her idk.

* Twas a GOOD week!

* And it will be an even better weekend. ENJOY IT Y'ALL! Be safe =-)

Twitteretiquette - get some

I'm fairly new to the beast that is Twitter. I follow a few people with over 7,000 updates. I'm only at like 300 & sumthin. It's a cool lil site though and some of my twitterkittens are absolutely hillarious and I thank yall for following me there on Twit and here on Blogger. But some of yall....lord some of yall need to get it together or yall gots ta go. You don't have to erase yourself from Twitter.com per se, but u gotta get the hell off my follow list. Let me explain to you why u may be expelled some time real soon-

1. If I twit you at 9:27am my time and you dont feel the need to respond until 8:30pm my time, do not get mad if I dont know what the hell you're talking about anymore. My mind has moved on. U missed the small bit of attention I was paying you. Just let it go.


2. If you twit me and I dont say shit back to u, it's for one of 2 reasons: 1, i'm not on cuz I do have other more important things to do or 2, I dont really understand wtf you are trying to say to me. If i repeatedly respond to u with nothin but ???? marks, it means u make no damn sense. Stop talking to me.


3. If i'm one of 3 people you follow on Twitter, you probably require too much time from me that i'll never give you. Do not let all of your @'s have my name after it because that's a lil scary.


4. If I take time out of my busy day to @ you and u never @ me back, but then one day I say sumthin hella funny and u just gotta get in on the convo...please spare yourself the humility cuz I will call u out for jumpin on bandwagons that you were NOT invited to.


5. If all you do is post those irritating ass links to that ridiculous site that promises to give you 1000's of followers, delete yourself from my life today.


6. If you retweet my updates and do not put my name at the end or in front of it, you're a damn plagiarizer and u have no creative thoughts and u should re-evaluate why you even have an account.


7. If you ever see me having a convo with ToniInCharge, leave me alone cuz thats my gf & i'd rather talk to her :-) It rarely happens tho cuz she never updates :-(


8. If I FollowFriday you, don't be an asshole your whole life. FollowFriday me back. Thanks.


9. If you follow me, and I block you, it was for a good reason that I dont have to share with you but I will if you push me.


10. If I follow you, its probably because 1, you follow my blogs or i follow your blogs , or 2, you have really funny/relevant/deep tweets. (RevRuns are the best!) If either of these 2 things are removed from the equation, the chances of me continuing to follow you is slim to none. Im sorry. Dont ask me why I stopped following you just know that you slipped up on something and should investigate yourself.


11. If I go on twitter and see 883 updates from you in the am, and then I come back when i get off work and it's like u never left, you're addicted and u need twitterers-anonymous. You know who u are. Put yourself in isolation and come back next week.

Okay! So now that you've gained some twit-sense, go ahead and stalk me at twitter.com/poetryisbliss :-)

~Back in the day when television was good~

So even though I have a few current tv addictions that im not proud of, overall the world of television sucks ass. A total lack of creativity, uniqueness and interesting ideas has taken over the air waves and it's just all bad. But man I was thinking about all the old shows I use to LOVE and I wish they would all come back with new episodes and wipe this irrelevant shit off my screen.



A Different World was the show that influenced me to go to a Historically Black college. This was my shit. And it was good all the way through. Shows now start sucking past the 3rd season. Like just everyone die already. But this show was hella funny. And I was sooo happy when Whitley and Duane got married ;-)




But there wouldn't have even been A Different World had it not been for the Cosby Show. This show set the bar for every other black family show...and no other show quite reached its status. I use to swear I was a part of this family. Why does Sandra look like an 1870's school marm?

Martiiin. Martiiin. This show was so grown and sexy and hillarious. I was only like 11 when it was on but it made me long to be in my 20's and out on my own in a relationship. Now that i'm 25... i wanna be eleven again watchin it on tv. Life isnt as funny as Martin. lol.





LOVE this show. Another 20sumthin singles show that made me wanna move to New York. Max was hillarious, Sinclaire was a dingbat, Regina was retarded and Khadija was sooo freakin gay. lol. I knew it before she knew it.


Melrose Place. Okay so the show was kinda over-dramatic and the one token black chick really got on my nerves, but i was addicted to this series. I had to sneak and watch it after 90210 cuz my dad wad like ummmm half naked white people all sexin each other up and then murdering each other?? Not gonna happen. lol. I watched it tho!!
Ahhhh Beverly Hills 90210. Such horrible acting but ohh the drama! I was like a 5th grader at the peak of this shows existence and it made me all giddy about being in high school. Unfortunately my high school looked more like Compton 90220. But wutever. I loved me some 90210. And not this new CW bullshit. I hate that they tried to remake a classic. Just leave it alone. And curse Kelly's life for appearing on it as a damn guidance ccounselor. And i wanted to kick her ass anyway for stealing Dylan from Brenda. Dirty triflin bitch. Okay wooo sah! Takin me back!




Saved By The Bell. One of the cheesiest shows ever but I was addicted. I wanted to be Lisa Turtle. lol. And i was happy as hell when Zack kissed her that one time. Cuz I was too mad that the only black girl on the show wasn't gettin no kinda play. And that's some bull anyway cuz anytime u have a cute black girl with money...she's gonna be runnin shit. Sorry Kelly & Jessie. And wtf was mentally wrong with Jessie anyway? Cuz that Showgirls movie....NOT a good look. Dont ever do that again. Ever.

5 weeks post relaxer as of today

Yayy another hair post! So i just realized that today i'm 5wpr. Doing quite well. Actually now is about the time I really start enjoying my hair. Directly after a relaxer its sooo straight (even tho I under-process it on purpose) & soft and kinda just does its own thing. But around the 4th week a few more waves sneak in and I get body outta this world when I wear it down. Since its the summer I decided im gonna protective-style it for the next few weeks. For the rest of this month and most of next month ill be bunning and heavily moisturizing, DCing and oiling. No heat at all. Hopefully I can get an inch or 2 of growth in. I already have some decent thickage goin on at my roots. I could kiss my ORS Hair fertilizer and my Nourishair vitamins! **MuAh**

Jada Pinkett Smith is my shero

I watched Jada's new series premiere last night, Hawthorne and I've found yet another TV addiction. *sigh* She's such a great actress and i've missed her emotion and sincerity that comes across on screen. Plus she's SEXY as shit. Please jus look at her...

And I love the way Will looks at her, like she's the only person in the universe.

Can they be any freakin hotter? Geeez. Will lookin like yea i jus beat that shit up. lol

Okay so yeah, now that you've enjoyed the eye candy let me give you more reasons why i'm feelin her so much. First off she has the best hair ever. Maybe I need to go ahead and try Carol's Daughter products if they can make my hair look like that! In the latest Ebony mag she claims its all hers...*side eye* I'm gonna go ahead and believe her cuz Jada wouldn't lie to me :-) I'm jus jealous cuz its gorgeous. lol.

Today I read Jada's tips & tricks on how to keep sex alive and well in a relationship and yes Ms. Jada is a freak. Her advice is to "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom that's not yours. Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex. Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road... Just switch it up."

Mmm hmm. Thats why Will is such a pleasant person. Jada be puttin it on him in the middle of grocery stores and shit. Im gonna have to try this...

If Brooke Hogan were my child...

she'd come up missin. Real talk. This bitch done slipped and bumped her head. Now I understand (well not really but i can fake it) how hard it is when your parents divorce. You feel torn, neglected, depressed, confused, etc. And you might even feel like u have to make a decision between which parent you live with, feel loyal to, blah blah blah. But Brooke, come on now. This chick is a grown ass woman up here pickin sides like she's in jr high and slangin mud like she ready to vaseline up!

"I'm just looking at how my dad's treating me and how my mom's treating me, and my mom has kind of backstabbed me a couple times. I look at the things she's released and said about me and I'm like, how could I ever trust her again? Like who does that to their kid? She threw me under the bus in front of the whole world!"

*blank stare & crickets*

Bitch she said your titties were fake. Big deal. They are. She was probably tired of u talkin greasy about her and her new man-child. Just because you aint gettin no ass doesn't mean u gotta drag your mother through the gutter for introducing some young dick into her life. Just because Linda looks a little like Hatchett from Cry baby [see above] don't mean her 1st born gotta turn on her like that. After waking up next to Hulk for years, hell I would probably lurk around high schools my damn self. Brooke is acting like a ungrateful spoiled-rotten little girl who is far too attached to her daddy's crusty n dusty nuts for her own good. She really wants to make a decision over which parent to be loyal to? Let's see here:

On one side we have an old played out washed up has been wrestler who spends day & nite stalking his grown ass daughter, cock blockin left & right ensuring that she'll be a virgin (HA!) for the rest of her life.

And on the other side of the ring we have a curvy cougar who may be a lil past her prime but sumthin must be good cuz she's still able to pull young blonde 19 yr olds who undoubtedly have young hot 19 yr old friends to hook Brooke's lonely ass up with.

Verdict= Brooke Hogan is a dummy.

Maybe if she weren't too busy tryin to look like America's Next Top Blonde Porn Star, she'd be able to form a logic thought....and record a decent album.

If I was her mama, this is what Brooke would be lookin like on her next album cover

I'm jus sayin

Oh i've got lots of shit to talk today

It's Monday [can i get a collective chorus of boos?] but i'm determined to be thankful for seeing yet another week.

My weekend was chill. Pretty much just laid around with the tloml (the love of my lyfe), went to the movies to see The Taking of Pelham 123. It was pretty damn good. I didn't expect any less from Denzel & John. Mr. Travolta made one hell of a bad guy. I liked it! I babysat my lil man Elijah for a few hrs & watched hours of mind-numbing tv. Which brings me to the next part of my post.

Is anyone else watching this show? I never even heard of it (i have sucky ass showtime) until my co-worker came in one day a few months ago ranting and raving about one of the episodes. I was like wtf is true blood? As soon as she told me it was a freaky vampire series on HBO my interest was most definitely peaked. I just watched the first 7 episodes over the weekend and um... Twilight it ain't. Twilight didn't deserve half of its hype in my book because any vampire movie/series that contains absolutely no blood sucks ass. But I guess i can understand why teenyboppers would love the pubescent movie. But these grown ass women runnin around in love with Edward and swooning over all things Twilight need to be punched in the left eye.

But True Blood is shaping up to be quite the entertaining series. And its for ADULTS which means there's blood and lots of sex. Started off a little slow. The first 2 eps left my gf and I like ummmm okay. But the deeper into it we're getting, the better it's becoming. I wont talk too much about it here cuz I dnt wanna spoil it for anyone. I just wanna know if any of you guys are watching it??

Wut else is on my mind? Oh yeah. These fools rite here.

Who didn't see this divorce coming? I coulda told him this was gonna be a hot ass mess the night of his honeymoon. I'll never understand why anyone would choose to participate in career suicide for the dumbest of reasons. Now dont get me wrong. Love is never the wrong reason for a life change. But obviously this wasn't true love. This was ooops i done went and knocked this bitch up and her family is from east oakland and i'm not about to come up missing so I guess i'll make an honest women outta her. Pffft. See how far that got him? Such a retard. And then he had the nerve to bash his fans for tryin to tell him the damn truth!? Whatever Ush. Hopefully your next album wont be good for only resting my liquor glasses on. Oh wait. I didn't buy it. Guess it's not even good enough for that....

And last but not least

I caught a serious attitude when this chick came out a yr or so ago and all I heard were Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie comparisons. I was like hell to the no. Dark hair, light eyes and semi-big lips does not automatically put you on Ms. Jolie's level. Sorry. So I immediately blocked that nonsense out of my peripheral. But after seeing some of the latest pictures of Megan, imma have to go ahead and re-evaluate her case. Now I still dont think she tops Angie. Hell Angie isn't even toppin herself these days. But um, Megan is steppin up her sexy. Give her a few more yrs and some acting classes and i mite have to throw her on my wcwcgi list. [white chicks who can get it]

I got some new ish for u to check out

If you've never ventured over to my other spot, now would be a good time to check me out at the Rainbow Room. I posted the first installment of my Harsh Reality series- The Other Woman. If you never knew or ever wanted to know how the sideline chick felt while she had her triflin hands wrapped around your significant other, this is most definitely for you. Enjoy, comment & stay tuned for parts 2 & 3.

Click here for The Other Woman

I am not a bad person

Dear self beautiful gorgeous sexy intelligent lil self;

25, almost 26 years of life is not that long of a time when you really think about it. Some people would still call u a baby. Wutever. U got proof & references that you're not :) lol. But i get what they mean when they say that. 25 is not that long of a time to figure yourself out, especially when you've had your head up your ass for the first 24 years. *sigh*

I won't lecture you on everything you've ever done wrong in your life. You already know what the deal is. You don't have many regrets and that's a good thing. Regret is what misery and sorrow is made of & we have no time for that. You know what you have to work on as far as personal flaws and characteristics that do more harm to u than any possible good. And even if i'm the only one to do so, i'll clap my hands and pat your back for putting more action behind your words over this past year than most people do in a lifetime. It's a sign of growth. But I do have one strong statement that needs to be reiterated because lately you've been slippin.

You are not a bad person.

Even through all of the drama you've ever caused, any lies you've ever told, any fuck ups or back pedaling, you're not a bad person and you have to forgive yourself for everything in order to do yourelf any justice. No one should ever be able to make you feel like you are a bad person because honestly, no one should have that kind of power over you, yourself and I. While somethings you've done in your past were wrong, they do not define who you are today. You can not change the past but you have full control of your future. Own it and make the most of it for yourself first and for those you love second.

As a little positive reinforcement, here's what makes you a not-so-bad person:
- I'll start off shallow. You're cute. Looks arent everything but dammit its somethin. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
- You're talented & you like to share it. Alot of people sit on their skills. You hone yours and put it out there for the world to enjoy, and they do. If u can make someone smile, lol, or sit and ponder over something you write, it's a good thing.
- You're no dummy. School is nothin but a thing for u and so far, you've handled it well. Keep it up and someone will be calling u Professor/Dr. Chanel one day.
- You love hard. You may not love perfectly, but you do love hard. Once you feel it, its a wrap.
- You have a soft spot that whenever it's actually tapped into, people love to revel in it because it's just that sweet.
- You are willing to change. It's taken awhile because you're stubborn as shit, but when you put your mind towards making changes, you try with all of your heart.
- You don't want anyone to be unhappy. Even if it means putting yourself in tough situations, you like making people happy with you.
- You like to laugh. Please start back doing it more often.
- You see beauty in people who can't always see it in themselves...and you let them know it.
- You try not to stay down on yourself because u know u cant thrive like that.
-Anyne who u let into your world ends up loving you so really now, you can't be that bad.

That's only the beginning, but it's enough. Please re-read this letter whenever you're having self-doubts, personal setbacks or are just having a really crappy day/week/month. Because um, to put it bluntly, i'm about fed up with the tears, frustration and self-deprecation. It's giving me heartburn and high blood pressure among other unpleasantries. Get it together and make life work for you cuz no one else is gonna do it for you. I love you more than anyone else ever will.

Signed,
Myself

Friday in a flash!

Well my little blogbunnies (lol, u like that?) another week has come and gone. It has been quite the odd bunch of 7 days and as always, i'm ecstatic about it being FRIDAY.

So let's start friday flashin...

* This past monday was the wierdest monday ever because I was happy! lol. Please dont expect to see that happen often cuz Mondays still royally suck ass.

* I need a bowling tutor before I ever pick up a bowling ball again. I suck more than Mondays.

* I swear the internet is the devil. Whoever invented it should be sent straight to hell.

* Oh and text messaging is the devil's evil step-sister. Put the damn phone down.

* I thoroughly believe people like to try me for the sheer pleasure of it. Like my buttons are so easy to push its like a game. lol. Thats okay tho cuz one of these days someone is gonna push a button and my fist is gonna respond way before my mouth does.

* Drag Me To Hell was scary as hell. Funny at times. Over dramatic & disgusting. But it scared me. Not that its hard to do so.

* Vivian Green's Emotional Rollercoaster has never been so relevant as it is this very second.

* My mommy is coming to visit me next week :-)

* Addiction is a very strong word. Do not throw it around lightly. It hurts. Oh and its rude.

* I want some Taco Bell. A Mexican Pizza and 2 crunchy taco supremes please.

* Will all of my dedication to school pay off in the long run or am I just making these white people more rich?

* The 20's are a hot mess of confusion, finding yourself, letting go, starting over and creating a path with your name on it. Even though youth is a beautiful thing, I can't wait to be 40 and over the bullshit.

* It's FRIDAY and while im far from 40 and unfortunately NOT over the bullshit, I don't need to dwell on it today so at 11:08 am i officially declare this FUCK IT FRIDAY! :)

It's a beautiful day so lets enjoy it!

Been goin through some things lately (if u couldnt tell) but I see the storm clouds slowly but surely lifitng. Everything wont go away i'm sure, but it's all in the way I handle it. Thank God for prayer, quality friends and moments of inner peace & clarity cuz I need all of them.

It's a BEAUTIFUL day outside and I plan on smiling as bright as this sunshine that's peeking through my window at work ;-) [me smiling at work?? GASP!!]

And tomorrow is FRIDAY heyyyyyyy!

This is some bullshit 4 real

As I was laying in my bed watching the 11:00 news last night, a story came on about a hair stylist in East Oakland who was assaulted (got her ass beat) in broad daylight inside of her own damn shop.

**blank stare & crickets**

What kinda ghetto crenshaw blvd menace 2 society type shit is this?! But check this though, it wasn't just no random let me walk up in someone's shop & fuck wit somebody type ordeal. This woman got jumped by 6 SIX 1 2 3 4 5 6 females! One of whom was a "friend" of hers! And they TAPED that shit....and put it on Youtube. Ridiculous. And ignorant. They never said what the beating was for but they played a small portion of the clip and damn. They pounced pounded and kicked that poor chile like she stole sumthin from them! Maybe she did. Sadly enough all of this was probably over a sorry ass man.

LAME.

My thing is tho, hun u work in east oakland. Shouldnt you be behind a couple of locked gates with a pitbull in the back and a gun next to the marcell curling irons??

My hair regimen! (and a lil history)

Okay so I just got deep into this hair care stuff in January of this yr. And for it to be only 5 months later, my hair has shown so much improvement, its not even funny. Like I can kick myself for not gettin on the ball a yr ago. I would be hangin & swangin on these hoes. lol. Seriously though, i've never really given my hair too much personal attention because I use to hate doing it. But I also hated lookin a hot mess so I stayed in the beauty salons. Dropped major $$ on cute hair cuts, "professional" relaxers, & weaves galore. And my hair would look good for a week and then i'd have to scrape up more cash to go in a week after that. But whenever I ran into times where the money was funny, my hair suffered. My thing was just throwin it back into a dry ass pontail day after day after day, or getting a cheap sew-in weave. No deep-conditioning. No moisturizing. No trims. No consistent quality hair products. No nothing but blow drying, daily curling irons and flat ironing. You think my hair was willing to work with me and grow as I was abusing it? Hell no. But i just blamed it on me not being a hair stylist so of course I couldn't get it to grow. I also chose not to care about it. "It's only hair..."





Then came late Jan 2009, I took my sew-in out (i had to be fly for new yrs:-), washed my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail. And what did I see? Scalp. Lots of scalp around my edges where my hair SHOULD have been and USE to be. The damage was really bad on my left side, like their were thin wisps of hair barely hanging on. I wanted to cry. I actually think I did cry a little because it shocked the hell out of me. And that was it. I promised myself that my break from weaves would start that day and from there on out, I would give my hair the proper treatment it deserves. And that's when my hair addiction began. I researched products and treatments like crazy. I didn't want temporary fixes. I wanted the good stuff, the suggestions that last and provide healthy results. So it took a minute and a few trial and errors, but i'm working it out and my hair is seriously loving me :-) Here's what i'm currently doing (and not doing) to my hair:




* I'm on a weave strike. Now don't get me wrong, I still love weaves. And i've been very tempted to get one for the next month or 2. It's tricky because my hair grows like crazy when its braided, so I know I could get a good 2-3 inches of growth this summer. But my edges were so compromised and are just now beginning to thicken, im scared of putting too much tension on them and stopping progress. :-( I dnt kno. If they grow in a lil more & I feel more comfortable, I might get a weave in August for a few weeks to take full advantage of my summer growth spurt. I'll let u know.




*No more curling irons. I use to be addicted to my big barrel curling iron. Every single morning I was curling my hair at the hottest temp because that's the only way it would hold a curl for half the day. Of course this made my hair very angry and my ends were all kinds of dry and scraggly. Just all bad. I officially retired my curling iron in March and haven't even looked at it since. I trimmed about 1.5 damaged inches from my hair and i've succesfully grown it all back + some since eliminating the abusive daily direct heat :-) And guess what? My hair will now hold a nice curl all day when I roller set and it even maintains a cute natural bend with bounce when I wrap it. Think it did this when I was treating it like crap? Not never.


*No more heavy greases or mineral/petroleum oils/gel. I use to think my hair needed gel, pink lotion and some kind of thick grease to lay flat. And I wasn't using any "healthy" aloe-vera gel. I was addicted to the evil that is pro-style gel. The thick brown gooiness that made my hair feel like a helmet. Yeahhh buddy. Give me globs of gel, a hard bristle brush and some water & u couldnt tell me nothin. But after researching the ingredients in the gel and in the grease & pink lotion, I quickly learned why my hair was so brittle and snapped off so easily. These products clog hair pores, coat the hair and make it impossible for any type of moisture to penetrate the hair shaft. No moisture= extreme dryness (duh) = breakage. Had to let it all go. But guess what again? Now that i've eliminated the harsh products from my regimen, all i need is a little coconut oil, a water based moisturizer (I use Organic Root Stimulator Hair fertilizer) on my edges & ends, and a soft bristle tooth brush = my pony tails glisten, sparkle & shine all day :-)



*Just say NO to cat-eye ponytails and YES to loose buns! Y'all know what cat eye ponytails are. If your eyes look like this \ / after you do your pony tail, its too damn tight. Stop it. This type of stress on your edges will lead to traction alopecia a.k.a a severe receeding hair line. Instead of ultra tight ponies I pull it back or up in a secure (but not tight) ponytail with ouchless cloth bands, making sure my edges are moisturized and aren't stretched taught. I've also learned the wonders of protective styling. Instead of always letting my ponytail hang in the wind, I apply heavy moisture to my ends and bun it for a few days, making sure to take down and carefully comb through it daily. This allows my hair to soak up moisture and maintain softness. No more scraggly straw ends for me since I started this!




The day before I wash (which I usually do on Sunday) I lightly scratch my scalp to lift any flakes and I apply a large amount of ORS Hair fertilizer directly to my scalp and along my entire hair shaft, paying extra attention to my new growth and my ends. I then seal the moisture into my ends with either a Hot Six oil treatment or my Doo Grow Thickening Growth oil. The Hot Six is a little thicker, contains six of the best oils known to hair and smells like coconut so I use this one a little more. But my Doo Grow is what has helped my edges so I can't knock it at all. After I moisturize & oil my hair I bun it and don't touch it at all until its time to wash.






I wash once a week alternating between Creme of Nature ultra moisturizing shampoo. The C of N is the best thing ever for softness and it smells like heaven. The follicleanse I found doing research on shampoos that clarify (fully remove build up of products) and restore the pH balance & natural oil production of the scalp. I have chronic dry scalp and i've seen a slight difference in it since using this shampoo. It has not eliminated my flakes (far from it) but my scalp doesn't get as dry as quick and my hair loves the stuff.





After I shampoo with lukewarm water, I condition with Creme of Nature Chamile & Comfrey conditioner. I swear they make the best smelling products ever. This condi is the perfect mix of thickness and creaminess and coats my hair really well, but rinses easily. I always leave the conditioner on for at least 5 mins, covering with a shower cap for deeper penetration. But I try not to get the conditioner on my scalp because its so sensitive to oils and products and if I put too much on my scalp, i'll be flaky the next day. So I concentrate on the hair, especially the ends. I rinse with cold water, as cold as I can get it. The cold water blast seals the hair cuticle and makes my hair really shiny.




As often as I need it, which lately has only been once every 5-6 weeks, I do a protein treatment. I quickly learned that I can't moisturize like crazy without strengthening the hair with protein. If I over-condition/moisturize and don't use protein, my hair gets mushy when wet and very limp and heavy when dry. So I think i've found my balance using Aphogee Two minute Keratin Reconstructor ever so often. DO NOT use this product every time you wash. No matter how tempting it is because this treatment does make your hair unbelievably soft and bouncy. Aphogee is the truth and it works well and i learned the hard way (trial & error) that if you use protein every time you wash for extended periods of time, the hair will become brittle and start breaking. But once you balance the protein with the moisture, the breaking & shedding will stop. I considered using Aphogees 2-Step protein treatment, which is an intensive process that includes sitting under a dryer and making the hair rock hard for a few mins, etc. But I dont think I need it and i'm scared of protein overload, so I think i'll stick with the lighter 2-minute recon. It's lovely.



Okay so after all the washing and conditioning, I gently comb my hair with a wide tooth comb and let it air dry for a lil while. I don't towel my hair at all because it makes it frizzy. If I dont plan on flat ironing & wearing it down, i bantu knot or twist my hair in sections (applying moisturizer and oils) and let it air dry completely. When I take it down the next day, it's super soft & curly and makes cute up-dos.



But if I plan on wearing it down for the duration of the week, I spray my hair lightly with Ultra Black Hair Care Dew which is a great leave-in conditioner, put a little ORS Hair Fertilizer on my ends and blow dry it. I don't fry my hair with the blow dryer. I part it and hot air blow dry until its only damp, and then I switch to the cool setting mid-way thru. After i'm done, I go section by section and flat iron on a low temp. I only use my flat iron twice a month now, as opposed to a couple times a week as to cut down the direct heat. I thought about phasing out my flat ironing and blow drying all together but I'm relaxed for a reason, because I want my hair to be straight and flow. I cant acheive ths without any heat at all. (I wish but i can't) So as long as I maintain moisture in my hair, and keep the heat usage limited, I think i'll be fine. So far, so good.



My maintenance thruout the week is pretty low now. If im wearing my hair down (which I do every other week) I set it in rollers twice a week, keeping my ends lightly moisturized so they dont dry out. Then I wrap it a few nites a week to give my hair a break from the rollers. I don't use clips or bobbi pins when I wrap because they can cause breakage and I dont like the indents they make in my hair. I just cover it with my silk scarf and go to sleep. My hair is healthy enough now that it holds the curl and stays very shiny and bouncy throughout the week. I also make sure to oil my edges religiously every day. On the weeks when I wear protective styles, I really don't do anything to it besides keep it heavily moisturized, sealed with oil and bunned.

So as you can see, i'm being extra careful with my hair now and i'm treating it like I appreciate it and would like to have more of it on my head. I chopped it all off in 2006, completely shaved low in the back and stacked asymetrical on the side. It grew pretty quick in 07 & 08 but I was mistreating it so it wasn't very cute & it broke off. Now it's beyond shoulder length, healthy and its growing!!! Yes we can have beautiful black hair as long as we treat it like we have some sense :-)

Fully obsessed...

with my hair. Yes I am. I can think of worse things to be obsessed over. I contemplated starting a hair blog but I already have 3 blogs and I only keep 2 of them regularly updated so I dont even know how dedicated I would be to an extra blog. But it would be about my hair though....idk. Maybe. I'll just post about it here and if u guys get tired of reading about it, go read sumthin else! :-)

So anyway this is really just for me to keep up on my own shit so i dont forget important stuff like when i last relaxed, when my last protein treatment was, etc. When i said my memory is slippin as if i smoke trees, i was not playin. Feel free to bypass all hair posts if you're not remotely interested, but if you're a hair diva, holla so we can talk.

Current Stats

Tex-laxed (relaxed but not bone straight. Keeps the bounce, body and thickness)

No color (altho i want a black rinse sooooo effin bad)

Length Check- As of 6/8/09 longest in the back- approx 3 inches from arm pit length, shortest layer- mid cheek

Short term length goal- Full apl by late fall/early winter 09.

Last relaxer- Mothers day (when was that? May 10th or sumthin. Told u my memory sucks)

Last trim- dusted my edges this past sunday

Last protein treatment- sunday

Next relaxer- mid august. I stretched my last relaxer for about 14 wks & it worked out great. Im gonna try to do the same thing this time around.

Relaxer used- Creme of nature Mild (loved it)

Relaxers i'll never use again- Organic Root Stimulator (my hair hated it. Shed like crazy) and Soft & Beautiful (no bounce, no sheen, it wasn't soft & it wasnt beautiful)

Long Hair Care Forum member?-All day everyday :-)

Hairlista- Yep!

KeepItSimpleSista- Best hair blog ever!

Things i hate to the pits of my scary ass soul

I am not a risk taker. Never have been & i'm 99.89% sure that I never will be. Why am I not a risk taker you ask?? Because i'm scary as shit. I'm a firm believer that some things should just never be because they're either 1)utterly ridiculous 2)pointless or 3)can kill me. A lot of people would probably say there's no fun living in fear. I say you can't live at all if you're dead because of some dumb shit you decided to spontaneously try for thrills & giggles. So here's a list of things i hate and/or i'm deathly afraid of:

1. Roller Coasters. Everyone knows I dont do em. Yet everyone continues to ask me ride with them whenever I go to an amusement park, and then have the funky nerve to catch an attitude when I say no. Did u think I was playin when I said I don't do roller coasters? I was not. They're loud, bumpy, ratchety, give me the shits & just an overall danger to my lil world. They serve no point at all besides to give me a head, neck, back, stomach and ass ache. If I ever agree to ride a roller coaster with you, please kno its because I dont want to hear your mouth anymore about it and because I must really really love you. Don't take advantage of it.


2. Bugs. All types. I dnt care if its a lady bug, they're still ugly & I dont like them. And I dont kill them unless its an absolute must. And if i'm home alone and something bigger than this [ ] ever crosses my path, I will hunt down a willing stranger on the street.


3. Bungee jumping/sky diving. Wtf is this? Why does this even exist? Like for what purpose do people need to hurl themselves out of an airplane? Are you asking to die? Looking to play games with death? Stop it. Death will win one day soon enough. No need to rush it.


4. Jungle/Forests. I'm a city girl. Please don't take me out to the Costa Rican rain forest and expect me to act as if we've just arrived at the Louis Vuitton store. Anywhere I can be mauled by animals, snatched up by some type of big ass bird, attacked by killer plants or eaten by bugs the size of cats...I wont be happy.


5. Going bald. lol. This shit isnt funny. I mean, I'm nowhere near bald and I must be blessed with strong hair genes cuz all of the abuse my hair has been thru (color, bleach, weave after weave, relaxers, tight ass ponytails, cheap products etc.) I probably should look like Samuel L. Jackson. But i've got lots of healthy hair cuz of my new hair regimen. But why do u think i've adopted such a strict regimen over the past 6 months? Because i've seen pics and women walkin down the street with hairlines that start halfway past noon and edges caught up in disappearing acts. I can't do it. I panic if i lose more than 5 hairs when I comb it. It's bad. I just dont ever wanna look like fire marshall bill.


6. Escalators. Don't like em cuz I always swear im gonna get my laces caught in them and get chewed up in the process of trying to get myself loose. lol. But im lazy as hell so i'll take one over a flight of stairs any day.


7. Motorcycles. First of all, they're loud and obnoxious. Secondly, they're a tragedy waiting to happen. If u get in an accident in a car, at least u have lots of metal, a seat belt and an air bag to protect u. If you're on a motorcycle, wtf do u have? Pavement and the air. Hell to the no. Do not ask me to ride on the back of a bike with u. Ever.


8. Bloody Mary, Candy Man, Ouija boards and all that other demonic shit. I cant even pretend to fuck with it. My lil stupid ass friends in elem school use to lock themselves in the bathroom and say Bloody Mary 10 times in the mirror and then come running out like bats outta hell, sweatin and what not. For what? If you're scared of the bitch actually showing up to chop your head off, why are you inviting her into the stall with u? And let me clarify something, they use to do this at their slumber parties held at their houses. Dont bring that evil shit in my house cuz u will promptly be asked to exit the premises. That goes for that light as a feather stiff as a board levitating shit too. (ya'll remember that mess?)


9. Using outhouses and other peoples make-up. What do the 2 have to do with each other u ask? It's all some dirty nasty foulness. Outhouses are always filthy. I cant risk having something crawl up into my precious lady parts from those infested cesspools of shit. Now as far as using other women's makeup, dont do it. And i hate for any1 to ask to use my shit. No. You may not. If i let u use it, I'm gonna let u keep it. And using your fingers to scoop some lip gloss off the tip is no better than putting your lips to it. Ugh.


10. Childbirth. I dont hate the thought 0f it. I'm just really really terrified of the pain & discomfort. I dnt care wut anyone tells me who claims they had a perfect labor. There's no such thing. Anything the size of a watermelon squeezing thru a hole the size of [o] is gonna do some damage. So spare me the "oh it slid rite out and I didnt feel a thing" speech. You're a damn lie. Unless your stuff is blown out to the nth degree, you felt it. I kno i'll have to get over this fear 1 day soon cuz i want kids & my gf is about to die if I dont give her some, so i guess i gotta work that out. But damn. I jus cant think about it.

Ok i think thats just about it for the major stuff I have problems with. Just thought I would share :-) What are some of your fears?

Yall wont believe this

But i got an A in my astro class. lmfao. I dont even know how to act rite now. I truly feel like its all a cruel joke and tomorrow i'll go check again and the A will be gone. Because i cant understand how this could've possibly happened. But i'll take it!!! (and hope no one notices the drastic mistake)

My weekend was um...interesting. I never did quite bowl that 3 digit # I was striving for. lol. I suck so bad at it, but my game showed a slight improvement after my 2nd long island and a rum & coke :-) Im laying off the alcohol until pride. I think i can make it for 3 weeks sober. I had a lil mini meltdown friday nite because of some stuff im triping off of. Wasnt good. But I think i'm on top of it now, or at least trying. Sometimes it takes a melt down to completely cleanse yourself of everything thats heavy in your spirit, ya kno?

I woke up and prayed this morning. Haven't done that in far too long. I needed the reassurance and security that comes along with my talks with God. And I needed today to be a positive day. So far so good.

Oh and it's Monday but I'm actually in a good mood! The power of prayer, im tellin you...

I'm in a writing mood today. I think i'll pull up my book that i've invested 40sumthin pgs into and kinda pushed it away due to a severe case of writer's block. I really need to buy a laptop. Thinkin about getting a netbook actually, for those times when im out & about and i have random ideas. No writer should be without one in my opinion, and im a writer & i'm without one. Gotta change that. Money is just so funny these days (tryin to save for a car, gotta buy bks for this fall, need a summer wrdrobe,about to be reduced to part time, etc)...sigh. We'll see.

Friday in a flash!

Im tempted to let this be a wordless Friday in a Flash cuz this pic is so powerful to me, I almost dont know what to say. On one hand, i'm thinking about how bad Pres. Obama needs a son. lol. *lookin at Michelle....* On the other hand, i'm liteweight about to cry because at one point, before Nov 4,2008, this picture would have never ever been possible. Well maybe you could catch a pic of a lil black boy touching a black man's head in the White House but they would probably be a father & son part of the staff, in the kitchen maybe, a groundskeeper?

But this man is the President of the United States. And this young man next to him finally has someone in the White House to look up to, relate to, and ask questions such as "Can I touch your hair to see if it feels like mine?"

Priceless.

Our country has not and will not change over night but Im sorry, if you don't understand the poignancy of this moment, something's wrong with you.

Let's see. Im goin bowling tonite. woo hoo! Im not that good at it but it's fun & my gf loves to go so i'm gonna go drink & make an ass of myself as I attempt to at least bowl a 3 digit #. Movie nite tomorrow- Drag Me To Hell & maybe sumthin else. I really wanna go to the club but y'all already know the deal with the club scene out here. *sigh*

I think that's about it. I'm just happy its FRIDAY!

Have a great weekend!!!

Chris Brown fans are um....interesting

This comment was posted in response to a Yahoo Entertainment column about Chris Brown's YouTube message to his fans. In this video Chris talks about his new CD and the single he's releasing this summer and he also shouts out his "true fans" who have stuck by him because he's "not a monster."

AshMash - Wed May 27, 2009 11:05pm PDT
Damn chris baby thas not a good look on yr part.im your DEDICATED fan boo ba you shuldve stayed on the DL.now that shyt juss makes u look like u dnt give a fcuk bout wa happen wit u & ms fenty ova there then again her dumbass aint makin herself look any better either.&& no sweetheart your no a monster but if your sorry for what you did you NEED to make that known b4 anythin else so ppl can see your TRULY remorseful for what happened.i dont take either side in the matter ya'll were both wrong..her 4 bein an idiot & pushin u that far & you for hittin tha girl in the first place.you made yaslef look like an odee hipocrit 4 one minute sayin u hater wife beaters ba then turnin around n doin it.Hey you aint hit me so i wuld still jump on it ina second ba im juss sayin...a lil advice...stay out the spotlight for now.come back WITH the album & go from there.Love ya chris boo,Ashley

Lawd. I dont even know where to begin. How about rite here? now that shyt juss makes u look like u dnt give a fcuk bout wa happen- Really? Is this the first time he's acted like he couldn't give a rats ass that the girl had horns growin from her forehead? I guess jet skiing with Diddy and having a grand ole time out on the town with Bow Wow shows his extreme guilt & sorrow over the matter. i don't take either side in the matter ya'll were both wrong...her 4 bein an idiot & pushin u that far & you for hittin tha girl in the first place. you made yaslef look like an odee hipocrit. Come again? You don't take either side...but Rihanna's the idiot. And what the hell is an odee hipocrit? I feel like I need a translator for this shit. But please let's not forget about the best part- Hey you aint hit me so i wuld still jump on it ina second ba im juss sayin... LMAO. Her mother should be proud. She has raised a level-headed young woman who realizes that just because a "man" busts one chick upside her head, doesnt mean he'll do it to her, especially if he's cute enough for her to jump on it! Girl stop. And people talk about Beyonce fans? This is a hot ass mess. All of the little girls & the grown ass women (cuz I know there are some) who are still on Chris's nuts after this issue might as well save this number in their phone right now 1 800 799 SAFE. It's the Domestic Violence hotline, open 24/7. I'm sure they'll need it.

Late monday post

Im wrapping my day up, clock-watchin as I type. Just wanted to poke my head in and say a few words. My weekend was great and way too short, as usual. Woke up at the butt crack of dawn on Friday so I could go to my registration/spring preview at Mills College. I registered for my fall classes, 6 in total. Yes i'll be tired as hell but I gotta do wut I gotta do. Im still trying to decide whether or not to declare a minor, and what it should be. Seeing as how I started my college yrs as a psych major and then changed mid way thru to an English major, I was thinking of maybe minoring in psych. I'm also toying with the possibility of a women's study minor or a Spanish minor. I dont know. Hell i dnt even know if i'll have enough time to complete a minor!! We'll see. I just know im excited to start!